I'm getting older. I'm getting tired of feeling this way - of letting other people's actions affect me like that and determine how I feel about myself. In reality, life's obstacles are stumbling blocks - an obstacle to progress, belief or understanding (taken from dictionary.com). An obstacle is something you can figure out how to work through, instead of letting it stop you.
When I was in high school, I ran hurdles. When I first started, they seemed insurmountable. The second time I attempted them, I tripped over the first hurdle and got severe road rash on my knee.
But I healed.
And I continued running hurdles. I never came in first place. In fact, I'm pretty sure I came in last place every race. But I did it. I accomplished my goal of just doing it. And I felt fantastic.
I want to see life's obstacles not as the insurmountable wall, but as hurdles.
And I will, starting right now.
(photo taken from here)
And I will, starting right now.
(photo taken from here)
37 people wanted to leave a comment:
Whenever I run into a hurdle or obstacle that could change my lives path the first question I ask myself is. . ."what have I prayed for lately". Often our obstacles/hurdles coinside with our prayers or our requests to our Heavenly Father because we are wanting to become a better person. It seems to me that once we recognize these obstacales/hurdles--the real work begins.
Luckily we don't have to race against time in the obstacles/hurdles--but we do need to remain diligent.
Love the analogy. Hope all is well. Good luck with the next obstacle and as you look at them as hurdles you will succeed.
"Road rash." Love it. Tell me to shut up since I never ran hurdles! Hell, I never ran TRACK!!
I think we all feel the same way sometimes. When you are an out-going person that truly cares about those around you, it is even more hurtful when other don't treat you with the same love & respect.
The important thing is you recognize how it makes you feel, and have an active desire to change your own outcome. It won't be easy, but I have faith that like any other task, you WILL accomplish your goal!
That is a nice way to look at it an approach it---thank you. I try to avoid obstacles. when something negative happens to me, I just try to forget about it. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it pops up years later when I'm not ready to deal with it. Bother.
Erin, I totally used to be right there with you, but now I'm not, and so I'm here to be your biggest cheerleader.
For me the clincher was actually stopping the negative internal dialogue. Anytime a new challenge came my way I always thought "poor me" or "what stupid thing did I do to bring this on myself" or (only very occassionally) "Why does God keep punishing me!"
It took ALOT of practice, alot of discipline, and alot of really being tired of always being beaten down, to pick myself up and say to myself "no matter what comes my way my life is my life and I don't have to live it being miserable because of other people's actions." It has been absolutely empowering. I wish you much success on your journey. Its SO worth it.
I'm at the point where I want to face my hurdles head on and run towards them, like you. That gives me the power and control over my life.
Great way to look at it. Another thing that occurred to me: once you've jumped the hurdle--it's BEHIND YOU.
My initial reaction to obstacles if often times very similar to yours. I freak out in some way in the beginning and then will try to avoid them altogether for a while. Eventually, after realizing ignoring it won't help, I begin to face it. That's not to say I do a good job of face it, but I at least try.
I'm trying to take more of a face it head on approach. I'm tired of getting stressed out.
Rah Rah Ree, Kick them in the Knee!
(see me be your personal cheerleader)
GOOOOOOOO Erin!
I don't like change.
Yes, I have very similar reactions. Right now it's with my family (siblings, parents, etc). I feel so insecure around them, like I have no credibility with them because we have become so different in our philosophies about things. I even find that I mumble when I talk to them, assuming they don't care what I have to say - then I go home feeling like: Why in the world do I let them control me like that? So lame! Can't I just have some inner confidence to deal with them and enjoy them? Sigh.
It's nice to know that others struggle with these things too.
I perceive you as confident and strong, with a really positive energy about you. Just thought you'd like to know.
Thanks Erin! That is exactly what I needed to hear...thanks!
One of the best strategies I've learned for powering through obstacles is the very one you're describing. When I feel overwhelmed and less than equal to a task, I just remember all the other obstacles I've tackled and conquered and it gives me the confidence to push forward.
But sometimes I have to think of A LOT of examples.
I tend to overeacte to obstacles and then once I am through them they don't seem as bad as I though. I remember my roomate in college telling me once "Kristen, this in NOT a crisis! EVERYTHING is not a crisis!"
I've always been this way too - except I've let those feeling of insurmountableness stop me from trying again. I've always given up fairly easily.
I'm fighting this now. Growing up hurts - because it means you have to face up to the ways in which you're still childish. But it is so amazing, that feeling of clearing hurdles. It's worth a little road rash, isn't it?
Just ran into your blog and so glad I did. I love it!
Insurmountable obstacles.....I've faced a "few" of those this last few months and wondered if I'd be able to even get out of bed.
Love your thoughts! Inspiring.
When I come against obstacles it depends on how I am feeling. If I'm feeling up and good then I look at them and try to see what I am supposed to learn from them. If I'm not feeling all that good then I cry and try to ignore them. Not healthy but true. I'm glad you are viewing your obstacles as hurdles that I am sure you will be able to clear. You are awesome.
I can be pretty tender sometimes. It's a real dilemma, because life is not full of compliments and happiness 24/7.
Getting older makes it interesting because you get tougher in some ways, but hormonal and a bit more sentimental in others.
Can we lower the hurdles a notch or two, please?
Always love your positive posts....
Boy did I suck at hurdles in school. Which might explain how I handle change and obstacles now...
Beautifully put.
GREAT post an analogy! It's amazing how some things can bring us down and others we can just blow it off. I think I told you at the blog lunch about the guy who flipped me off while driving in a parking garage and how to this day when I'm in a parking garage, I think of him. It's a difficult thing to be able to get a thick skin and not let little things bother us. I appreciate your post, it's a reminder to me to toughen up.
It's funny how people can sometimes effect you like that. I used to be horrible with that. If I knew that someone was upset with me my whole world would come to a screeching halt until I had fixed whatever the problem was (my fault or not). And then I met my husband. He has taught me that other people's thoughts and opinions cannot hurt me. I can listen to them or not. I can internalize them or not. Generally people don't understand the whole picture and when they are critical of me it is generally from a half informed opinion. So tell yourself that you are great no matter what other people say. You are amazing! Now when I get a comment from someone (close friend, family member acquaintance or not) I generally laugh and move on. They don't understand everything, so it doesn't matter what they say. Good luck with these hurdles. I know they aren't the easiest to overcome.
Yeah, I blow things up too much all the time. And get discouraged easily. Motivation comes in spurts sometimes.
But, I think it will just get easier to care less and less what people think as we get older. Way to go Erin!
Such a lovely post, my friend.
I think there are few things in life where we come in first place or always "win." However, I like to think that as we get older, it is more about how you play the game and who you have on your team.
:)
-Francesca
PS: Like it or not, I made you a part of my team. HAHA!
That's a great way to think about life's obstacles.
When life takes you down, you just have to get up and brush yourself off.
I love this analogy. Our trials may seems daunting at first, but we can get over them and move on.
thanks! I needed this today.
Erin, what great thoughts! I think it depends on so much the way I take each new obstacle. My mood, my families mood, recent events. I hope though, like you I can see it as just an obstacle and not a wall.
I tend to have a panic attack or two until I am able to calm down. I hardly ever can do it on my own. I have to turn to the Lord. I have loosened up a bit over the years, but it is still very difficult for me. Thank you for this post, it helps me realize I am not alone and I can do it too!
What a great message! {Hugs}
A certain personal document obtained when I was in high school advised me to view life's trials and challenges as opportunities for growth. Now, I am not perfect. In the moment, I feel a bit like I'm drowning and I can't handle life any more. But once I pull my head out of the water a bit, I can breathe and those words come to mind. It doesn't really make things easier, but it changes my attitude enough and gives me the confidence to push through the trials so that I can be a stronger and better person.
You are just so smart. :) This is such an excellent analogy. It reminds me a little bit of Randy Pausch's Last Lecture...how he talks about brick walls being there to help us to prove how much we really want something, and that by knocking them down we grow in the process. I have loved that since I heard it and have since really tried to knock down brick walls instead of just giving up and turning around, which is usually my first instinct.
I know Im a little late here.. hopefully you will still read the comments on this one.. =)
anyways... I have had several expierences from sister in laws, from my parents, from my childhood friends... and more.. where I was hurt deeply. As I got older.. and the hurts were repeated... I came to the decision that I was no longer going to put myself thru them.
Some people I dont hang out with anymore.. we talk on the phone once in awhile, and we may email. Thats it. Distance makes a good hurt blocker.
Some I finally stood up for myself with. Let them know they didnt have to agree or even be happy with me or what I was doing or whatever... BUT they DID need to be respectful if they wanted me to respect them in return. Now those particulars are not part of conversation.. we agree to disagree. it works.
Other hurts... ones that are really deep... I have had to pray a lot about. Visual:.... write them out, put them in a box, and lay that box at the feet of the Saviour. He already has felt and dealt with it for us.. why go thru it alone again? There is no need.
Life is to short to be wasting your time and feelings on other peoples issues..
One of my rules of thumb is this:
When people first meet me... they know within the first 5 minutes if they like me or not. If they like me, great!! Glad to make a new friend. If they dont like me... thats fine to!! Thats their problem not mine. =)
Hope you get to feeling better about whatever it is going on that has you upset... Hugs!
I am with the others who said thanks for posting this!
I used to be just like you! Anything unexpected threw me for a total loop and into a complete and total dither.
I didn't like wrenches in my plan... because then I wasn't in control.
However, the older I have gotten, (and actually blogging has changed this outlook a lot) I have realized that wrenches are just life lessons. How can I take this "wrench", turn it into a story that relays a life lesson?
Because really, that's all the wrenches are: Life Lessons. Its how we choose to handle them that will determine what we learn.
I love a good challenge. I need things to work towards. I am constantly setting my bar higher and trying to achieve something I didn't think I could do. Sometimes I succeed - sometimes I don't.
But it sure makes life fun :)
I think I'm at the same point in my life. I always wanted to do hurdles in high school. Now I'll have life hurdles instead! :)
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