The truth is, I'm exhausted.
My eyes sting. I can't even wear my contacts because my eyes hurt so bad. I signed my name on the tip/gratuity line when I went out to eat at lunch. Five times today I have been trying to come up with a word that is just on the tip of my tongue but can't seem to make it out. (You know, that little thingy that holds papers together? You know? Oh yeah, paper clip.)
The culprit for this lack of brain power? Kaitlyn. The reason? She doesn't go to sleep for the night until around 1:30 every morning.
We can't get her schedule adjusted to where she sleeps at decent hours. And believe me, I am trying. She sleeps from about 1:30 AM until 2:00 PM, waking up a few times to nurse. I have tried the cold, wet washcloth (it only works momentarily). I have tried completely undressing her so she gets cold. I try not to let her sleep at all after 5:00 PM. I have (halfheartedly) tried doing a schedule of eat, play, sleep. It is SO HARD to follow a schedule with two other children and stuff going on. Thankfully, my husband stays up many nights with her. But I'm still only managing to get around 5 1/2 - 6 hours of sleep a night, and for someone who really needs 8 hours in order to function properly, I'm having a rough time.
I'm not looking for answers. I'm not looking for sympathy either. I'm just explaining why I'm not functioning with a full tank of gas here. And why my fuse is shorter than usual. (Poor kids.)
I will get to sleep again. One day.
29 people wanted to leave a comment:
I know you aren't looking for sympathy, but I am giving it to you anyway.
Ahhh I feel for you. Those newborn days are hard. You are lucky to have a helpful husband but I know what you mean about needing 8 hours of sleep!
I know you don't need sympathy just a Lunesta and a Nanny - ha ha.
Your little darling is soooo cute - makes it all worthwhile!
Claira did the same thing but things gradually (TOO gradually in my mind) righted themselves. Hope this happens for you soonly, you poor girl!
oh lady, i'm giving you sympathy whether you want it or not. I'm just barely not desperate for naps everyday. (just every other day now... ;))
Oh, I'm right there with ya!! Sleep deprivation isn't fun.
Good luck, girl! I hope she'll magically start her schedule up 5 hours for you!
I'm sorry! That really is so hard - on everyone.
We forced our baby to stay awake in the afternoon/evening. Usually my husband would undress her, chill his hands, and put them on her. I felt bad initially, but after a while I was so sleep-deprived I didn't even care what he did as long as she would sleep. Good luck!
This will all be a memory way too soon! I would say enjoy it, but that's not reasonable. Just remember it doesn't last forever
Aw Erin, you poor thing! I say take turns with your husband - each of you take a night, then at least you'll get your 8 hours half of the time til she adjusts to a better schedule!
Keep your chin up!!! :):)
I feel for you! Those first few months are the hardest! For your sake, I hope you find a schedule that works for everyone!
I do feel for you! I remember those days and still have them sometimes. Hang in there!
I'm a night owl, so I may love Caitlyn's schedule if only I didn't have to function in the morning. (ie: no other kids)
Since that is not possible, I feel your pain. I need 7 hours, 8 preferrably too. So...is she just wide awake at midnight then?
I know you don't want sympathy but all us moms really feel for you and remember these hard days ... I hope you get a good long rest soon.
Ack! I'm sorry! When Madelyn was a newborn, every time I got up with her in the night it was for an hour at a time (lots of issues with that girl) and I was so completely exhausted all the time. When she finally got old enough to watch TV, I'd go lie on the couch and doze while she watched PBS Kids. Let me know if you need a break! At least school starts soon so you can take a morning nap.....
but isn't the sleep deprivation all worth it when she smiles at you?
Yes, i'd have to say it is.
hang in there erin! :D
sleep deprivation is the WORST!! Everyone snaps when they are that tired. Here's hoping something starts working very soon!
So sorry! That must be really tough. I was always blessed with children who slept well so I guess I was spoiled. Hang in there!
Exactly ditto Kristina's comment. I wish there was a magical eye drop that could at least make your eyes feel okay. And then a pill that made the grouchiness go away. Then the sleepiness might be tolerable. (might)
Sending you positive loving vibes --- and worrying that my baby is coming in December.
Ug I remember those days too well. Just found you but am sending you sleepy peaceful thoughts!
It's not fair that right after the baby is born, when everyone is so helpful, you seem to have an abundance of energy. Two months down the line, I'm finding, it all drains away, and even though I'm getting MORE sleep now, I'm more tired than ever! At least this is a good sign that once she gets her days and nights straight, she'll be a good 12 hour sleeper.
You may not be looking for sympathy---but I still feel bad for you. My sister-in-law just had a baby and is working on the sleep schedule thing...it's hard cuz when I hold him I'm happy to let him fall asleep on me:)
That is brutal. BRUTAL! And it's totally the most stressful part of parenthood (until the teenage years, or so I've heard).
Just know time WILL pass, and your brain WILL be smart again one day. I'm weaning Eli now, and already my brain is beginning to de-fog. Hallelujah!
Hope...that's my point. There's hope.
It's the losing words things that makes me craziest.
Sorry it is so hard with the little angels. It will level off.
I hear ya. Oh boy, do I hear ya.
I completely understand. I celebrate lately if I get three hours of straight sleep. It will pass right?? :)
Oh my goodness! I've been away so long! You have a new baby!!
Congratulations to you and your family!!!
I feel you
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