The Birth Certificate Saga

I still don't have Kaitlyn's birth certificate. And she's almost 7 months old. It's not that I haven't tried, or that I just haven't cared - I have actually tried four different times to acquire it, with no luck. Let me tell you how that can happen to someone like me.

Remember how I told you that I have no sense of direction? It's pretty frustrating when you can get lost in the town you grew up in, only because it's nighttime. Well, this is one reason why I love most Utah towns. For those of you who don't know, most Utah towns have a grid system, with Main and Center Streets being the center of town, and then the streets are named 100, 200, 300 North (or South or East or West) depending on how far you are from Main and Center. If an address is 450 S. 300 E., I can find it without problems (usually).

However, the health department in our town doesn't have a number address like this. To make myself a tiny bit less Googleable, I will say that the street name is Private Drive (not its real name). How in the world can someone like me find Private Drive? You'd probably say read a map, but maps don't work for me. I can't see it in my head. "North" to me is whichever direction I am facing, and "south" is the direction behind me. It is a tiny bit easier when I'm outside because I know the mountains are east. But we have been living in our house for 2 1/2 years, and Christian will occasionally ask me out of the blue (I'm sure for his own personal enjoyment), "Which direction is north?" After 2 1/2 years, I STILL don't know which way is north when I am inside my own house.

End tangent. Okay, so when Kaitlyn was one month old, I thought I would be able to find the health department just by driving around. Big mistake. I was on the south end of town, and when I came home frustrated I looked it up and realized that it is on the north end of town. So a month later I drove up Main street looking for Private Drive. I was SURE I had found it when I spotted the Driver's License Division. Nope, no such luck. That was a waste of a day of searching for the health department.

So a couple of months ago, I tried looking for it on a map. I found the street, but there was no identifying information surrounding the street for me to be able to know where the street was actually located. If it would have been, for example, across the street from the cemetery, I would have figured it out. But there was nothing like that nearby (on the map). I got frustrated and gave up. Strike three.

So this morning, for the fourth time, I decided I was on a manhunt to find the health department. I slowly drove north on Main Street, watching for Private Drive. I turned when I thought I was getting close - oops, that's the golf course. U-turn. I turned again, only to realize I was on the road leading up the canyon. Got back on Main Street, and kept driving. Finally I saw a teeny sign that said "Health Department" with an arrow. I was so excited! I turned, drove up, parked, and realized...it's Friday.

For those of you who live in Utah, you know that recently all federal places like the health department have adopted a four-tens schedule, meaning they work Monday-Thursday, and take Fridays off. So, on the day I actually found the right place, they were closed.

Here's hoping fifth time's a charm!