Monday, January 23
Saying Goodbye
Yesterday we went to church for the last time in our Utah ward. I expected it to be a Sunday as usual, knowing that I am going to make it a point to see my good friends one last time before we leave if at all possible. I wasn't really seeing the last Sunday at church as a goodbye.
Sacrament meeting was nice (the bishopric spoke). Sunday school was nice (the lesson was on the Tree of Life). Relief Society was nice (one of the women I visit teach taught the lesson). I still didn't have any sad feelings. It was just a lovely Sunday. I went to pick Kaitlyn up from the nursery after church ended and I saw a woman I have been friends with, mostly casually, since I first moved into the ward (I will call her Mommo because I believe that is her blog handle). Mommo started to say goodbye to me and I just burst into tears. I literally turned around and fell into Christian's arms.
You see, Mommo and I have had some kind of connection ever since I moved into the ward. We worked in the Primary together. We went to eat at In-N-Out Burger together after a temple session. We have had much contact via email through the years, and one of my dear friends' husbands even works with her. But seeing her, and realizing that I was saying goodbye to her for the last time, woke up a realization in me - my biggest regret from leaving here.
I realized that I live my life like I'm in my own little world. I virtually never invite friends over to my home. I almost never go out of my way to let someone know that I care. I don't do much to branch outside of myself and be a good friend to others. And, in this case with Mommo, I realize that I could have and should have made more of an effort to let her know that I care and to be a better friend. I vow to do better in my new neighborhood and at church.
Mommo, and all of my other friends that I'm leaving, I'm going to miss you!!
(P.S. My only other regret is that I never went to see the Grand Canyon in the entire 3 1/2 years I have lived here, and we only live three hours away! D'oh!)
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I need to do better at this with our new ward. I may actually call our RS president because I haven't been assigned to be a VT yet, or been VT, and I think it would be good for me.
Good luck to you with everything- the packing and cleaning, the saying good-bye, the driving a long way with kids, the unpacking and setting up a new place. I'll miss you! (But hope you will still be blogging regularly)
It's very hard to say goodbye! Wishing you safe travels Erin...
Good-byes are so hard! This post is a great reminder for me to get outside of my comfort zone. Since having the baby, I've been so impressed by the efforts of our ward and neighbors to bring meals and to reach out to us. It's made me want to make more of an effort to reach out and help others. Good luck with the move and your new ward!
You don't have anything to feel bad about. You gave me exactly the kind of support I needed, and are exactly the kind of friend I want. Just keep being you, because you're great!
It is always hard to say goodbye. Not everyone finds it easy to be extroverted and to reach out. I love having dinner guests and people over for games, but some of my closest friends have never once done that. I find that fascinating!
Blogs can keep people close even when distance separates them. I hope you enjoy your new home and adjust quickly. I think it's great you've had this realization that you have a desire to develop deeper friendships and I'm sure you will!
I'd have people over all the time as I'm an extreme introvert but I married my opposite (which is a good thing) so that means I am in rather the same boat you are. Plenty of people willing to be friends but me not following through.
I'm like you, only worse because I don't even make many friends at church (or if I do I only see them once every few months because they're in a faraway branch that my husband only has to visit occasionally.) I am sorry for your sorrow! I will learn something from it, though, and try to be better at reaching out to others!
Trust me, you're not the only person to have those regrets! I am exactly the same way!! And I'm sorry I didn't do more on my part to hang out with you. Glad we can still keep in touch online! We'll miss having you down the road, though! :(
Goodbyes are hard, but (in my wise old age) I've learned that they are rarely forever. I've been surprised how many loved people we've had the opportunity to stay in touch with and see again.
Happy travels this week, Erin. I wish peace and calm when you need it.
And did KP say she's going to CALL her RS pres. and ASK to be a visiting teacher. Someone alert Sister Beck; she'll be so proud.
(wink)
Aw, sad. Moving and last goodbyes are strange. I didn't shed one tear when we moved last time, and I really loved some of the people in our ward. You kind of don't know how to feel in the moment. With me, every time we move, I know it's not the end of moving, so I'm having a harder and harder time making an effort for new friendships. I'm also lonelier every move, so it's worth the effort, but...I don't wanna.
I can't help but make a few pals, of course, but nothing too close. I hate it. I'm someone who usually has a few close friendships, and I miss that.
Anyway, I also rarely invite people over - I don't enjoy playing hostess. Your perspective makes me realize it's worth reaching out. Thanks for reminding me. It's always worth it - why do we not do it more often?
It's a great goal to set, going into a new place! And at least you know you'll be there awhile, so you can mentally settle in.
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