Would you freak out? Think about going private? Welcome her? Eat her alive?
What if your ex-boyfriend's wife was me?
About two months ago, I noticed that a woman named Fiauna had commented on three people's blogs in one day who are in my circle of blog friends. Now, Fiauna is not a very common name. Fiona, maybe, but I have only ever heard of one Fiauna; my husband dated her in high school. So, I clicked over to check it out. Sure enough, her profile picture proved to me that it was the same beautiful Fiauna my husband dated. (My husband obviously has great taste in women.) So I had to decide: do I blurk (blog lurk) and not tell her I'm reading? And then wonder if she has found my blog because we are in the same circle of friends and maybe she's blurking me? Or do I comment, and see whether she responds? (By the way, I didn't actually know her in high school. I just knew who she was. Because she was a year older and, well, I was kind of a nerd.)
I decided to comment, and I just made it vague: "I have seen your comments on three blogs today that I read, and I think I know you." The next day she commented, and by her comment she clearly knew who I was...or at least, who I was married to.
We began a tentative blog friendship, and then started e-mailing each other kind of catching up and being honest with each other about this kind of weird but fun connection we have. And I think she is delightful! She writes a personal blog, where she shows the love she has for her family and she writes uplifting, inspiring posts. And she is an excellent writer: she also has a blog called The Sprightling Diaries where she posts short stories and chapters from a novel she is writing. She is ultra talented. Go check out both of her blogs and tell her hello from me.
Oh, and the sweet irony I talked about in the title? 1) We both have a son named Aidan/Aiden; 2) My husband's birthday is April 6, her husband's is April 7; 3) She married an Aaron, my husband married an Erin. Isn't that hilarious?
Don't you wish you knew where your ex-boyfriend was? And don't you wish his wife was
53 people wanted to leave a comment:
That is hilarious! I have wondered about ex's over the years and when I started with facebook found several of them I felt very weird about writing on their walls or even looking at their family photos.
But they all seem like great people now and have beautiful families.
I guess it just goes to show you just never know who you might run into when blogging. Great post and I loved hearing the story. Have a super week.
I definitely think it would depend on the boyfriend if it would be too awkward for me or not. What a funny story. And, yes. The irony is funny!
Ironic is a good word for it!
I agree that it would depend on the relationship and those involved (previously involved) before I would be able to say how I would react.
Happy Monday!
That's funny! I don't know if I would have been daring enough to do that! Although I did meet Nathan's ex-fiance, yeah a little akward at first. But once that was done with, it wasn't so bad!
That turned out really well! I have no interest in striking up a friendship with my husband's high school ex-girlfriend. I would be fascinated in blurking her, though.
That is interesting. I have the fortunate/unfortunate disability in that I do not know anybody from before through blogging. All of my friends don't seem to be the writing type— which made it difficult to keep in touch. I do admit that my wife and her ex husband are quite civil and it strikes some people as strange that we all get along so well.
I don't have an ex-boyfriend (well, not really) so that wouldn't be an issue. However, I think I would be upset if my husband's ex-girlfriends started commenting on my blog (especially since one of them called to talk to my husband three weeks after we were married for some boy advise and then showed up to CHRISTMAS dinner a few years later when I was hugely pregnant and she was skinny and cute. Not cool). I am not really the jealous type, except when it comes to exes. No thanks. You are a saint :)
That is so funny! And I've been reading Fiauna's blog for a little while now, and she is completely delightful. It's not surprising that she welcomed you with open arms.
this is great. I became friends with an Ex Boyfriend's girl that he cheated on me with, but turns out he did the same to her. We were so misunderstood and how we are very good friends. Both happily married and she has a kid, and I'm making one. So I think this kind of thing is great! Although, the date would probably be fun for you, but awkward for him and the other husband. :)
That really is funny! I'm glad that you were brave enough to leave a comment and strike up a new, albeit unlikely friendship.
Oh, yes. I definitely wonder where former boyfriends are and what's going on with them. I would love to bump into a wife's blog! I think it's awesome that you left a comment. I'm pretty sure I would, too.
I love that they were wrong for each other because they each needed their own Erin/Aaron.
I would never have that problem since I am my husbands one and only. I was his first girlfriend--he had only been on one other date before me and it was a disaster.
No. Too weird for me. You are a better person that me. Thats all I need is a former g-friend stalking us.
Oh, Erin. You're so cute. Thanks for speaking so kindly about me. I'm blushing.
I would think it was cool if my ex's wife left a comment on my blog. I think it's cool that you and Fiauna are able to be friends.
My husband actually had a huge crush on my best friend in high school. And we are still in touch with her.
I have a feeling that if my ex's wife had a blog and I commented on it I would not be treated as kindly as you were. You and Fiauna are good people.
that is too funny!!
That is too funny, and shows how grown-up you both are now:). Or all are, hubby's included! I checked out her blog and read about her side of it too, and it's pretty funny!
Wow, what adventures!
the only other girl my husband "dated" before me, became his stepsister..can we say awkward?..yeah.
I had to get used to this a while ago, as quite a few of James' exes read our blog. I've become fairly good blog friends with a lot of them and the weirdness is pretty much gone. I'll probably get to meet a few of them when we head to CA this summer. There are a couple I'm still insecure about, but I'm working on it.
That's funny stuff! I never understood the whole ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend drama until I ran into a ex a year after I was married. Awkward! But maybe I'd like his wife... :)
I have to wonder how often it actually happens. Certainly more often on Facebook. There are some boyfriends I would love to know what's going up with, but others I would prefer to pretend they didn't exist.
I did find one of my husbands mission companion's wives through blogging. :)
That is a great story. It's a small blogging world, isn't it? I'll have to go check out her stuff.
How funny! I think it's very cool that you decided to reach out. I bet you guys have even more in common than birthdays and names.
Hysterical, I love that you would comment and turn it into a frienship.. SO YOU..
I mean why not.
Gotta love what a small world the ole internet is!
Hahahaha- you're awesome. PS: I'm totally using 'blurk' as my newest vocabulary word. LOL
I'm so glad you had a good experience!! I, on the other hand, have had nothing but headaches with my husband's ex-girlfriend...who is blocked on every public forum I visit (she is the definition of Psycho!!).
what a small bloggy world.
I was all set for a juicy cat fight! But, you are the better woman and look how it turned out.
I would totally comment on my husband's ex-girlfriends blog if he had one.....
What a hoot! (One can see from her follower profile picture that she is quite lovely .. )
i love it, i would never not leave a comment. I would have done what you did. I am glad you chitchatted via email!
Fun fun, that was a lifetime ago and I wouldn't have an issue double dating with the ex.
I am friends with my ex's on FB. I think we could definitely hang with one of my ex's and his wife.
I would even hang with dh's exes and their spouse, but SHE WOULD definitely have to look LESS hot than me! LOL, seriously.
I have the interesting habit of being friends with my exes wives. Most of them have the good sense to realize that I'm an ex for a reason and there's no threat. If I'd wanted to marry your husband, I would have and vice-versa, so it works out. It can be odd sometimes, but mostly it's good.
P.S. It's not a habit on purpose. It's more just the circumstances.
If I found any of my husband's exes on line, I most definitely would blurk. And if I found the wife of my ex, I would too. I would stalk it forever. I do it on facebook so why not blogger. Even more discreet.
This was a funny post! My ex-boyfriend's sister is now my VT companion! Go figure! What are the odds?
What a small, small world.
I just met one of my blogging buddies who is house hunting in my city!!! It was the best part of my day!!!
I have actually found my ex-boyfriend's family blog and read it and she has read mine. One funny thing is I entered a giveaway on her blog and won. She seems like a great person. I actually think I could be a good friend of hers-we seem to be quite alike. I actually met her before they were married (and I already had my oldest son). I love reading about people, who I knew back in the day, and their lives. What fun.
I'm sure that if I started posting on my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend, boyfriend, something, I don't know)'s ex-girlfriend's blog, she'd tear my eyes out.
We're not on good terms.
I did find an ex boyfriend's blog...but there's NO WAY I would comment on theirs. It ended too badly.
Oh this cracked me up!
I would never comment... but blurk and STALK? Oh my yes.
(my ex left his wife and 3 kids for someone else. I'm glad I didn't marry him . . . )
What an incredible story! I would like to say I could have made that comment like you did and it led to a friendship...but I'm not sure I could have. Good for you Erin! It is so funny how things work out, isn't it?
Wow.
I read you both and who knew your story? Crazy.
I would feel so weird about commenting on hy husband's ex's blog. Not that there are any bad feelings there, I just think it would be weird. So glad it worked out for you!
That is hilarious!! I like the blurking but also love the fact that you got to know her. Erin, you are awesome:)
Funny how life is!! I agree with all the million comments, you miss popularity!!!
hugs!
I read her blog! She's awesome!
This was too funny! What a small world. I don't think I would have commented, but I would have totally stalked her blog.
Your blog is really fun...saw you on BSU...while it's still here anyways. I'll see you around.
Oh that is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny!!! My hubby's ex gf actually sent me a Facebook message asking when my hubby would set up a FB account!!!! The nerve!!!!!!!!! We ended up just snickering at her pictures...we're so awful!
I love Fiauna!! We're becoming blog friends. Love the Spirghtlings, too.
What a crazy connection!! And all the similarities are a bit eerie. I guess she gets along well with men born in that sign, whatever it is.
I've tried to find an ex's wife's blog before. After trying 40 different blog addresses, I gave up. I would totally stalk them if I could!
THis is the funniest post ever. I freakin love you Erin!
i found my ex-boyfriend's blog about 6 months ago. it was bittersweet- awesome to find out what he was up to and see his cute little wife, but so heartbreaking because they had just gone through the worst tragedy imaginable- they had just lost their only child, only 2 years old.
i had to leave a comment and sympathy. throught that comment, i have started a friendship with his wife that i would have never had otherwise.
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