I took a French literature class my sophomore year in college. I hated it. All of the literature was in French, the discussion was in French, and the teacher was an existential feminist, so everything we read and discussed was very deep and sometimes extreme. In English, it would have been difficult. In French, it was excruciating. I studied for over two hours every night (it was a 5 credit class) the entire semester, and I barely squeaked out an A-.
Mme. Goodhart spent a good portion of the class discussing vocation, or your calling in life, and your true "voice." At the time, I didn't get it. I was only 18, and really naïve with these topics. I didn't even know what a voice was, nor did I believe that people actually had a vocation that they were "supposed" to do. At least now, 14 years later, I understand the meanings of these terms. Now my job is to figure out my voice.
And man, is it tricky! I know I am "myself" on my blog; I'm not trying to act like someone else. But people keep saying that I am funny! In real life, I'm not that funny. In fact, I'm generally quite serious. Ironically (or maybe not so ironically), my husband says that since I have started blogging, I have become more witty and funny. I suppose that's a good thing!
I also realize that I am only showing you the sides of me I want to show you. You aren't seeing all the facets of me - only the ones I choose to let you see. Sometimes that is kind of frustrating! I don't want to seem one dimensional. This is also why I want to meet so many of you in person - because I genuinely want to get to know you better.
Okay, now I'm just rambling. So, the point of this post: I'm looking for my voice. I haven't quite found it yet. I like all of you and want to get to know you better. The end.
Tuesday, January 6
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You are not one dimensional. I wish we lived closer, I have loved getting to know you better from reading your blog.
Since my main goal in life is to be beautifully wonderful, I have no other option but to comment ;o)
I was the other way around...I found my voice at about 21 (when my hubby was in Iraq & I was all alone on a rock in the Pacific) but didn't uncover my vocation for 2 more years. Good luck on your journey, and be sure to pack plenty of sunscreen!
Lee definitely did you proud with your blog redesign. You have every reason to be happy. I would be too! It is lovely. She did a fantastic job.
Amazing that you took the French literature class in French and still got an A-. My respect for you is increasing by the minute.
-Francesca
PS: A closet ANTM fan...made me laugh. I am not watching any longer, but was a die-hard fan for many a season for a while.
I know you well enough to say that you are funny, but also serious. Good post. I do think you come across as yourself, but most of us tend to only post what we want others to see about us.
You don't seem one dimensional at all in your writing. But I guess you know all about you and can maybe see the missing parts. We're all like that here, though.
I read your France post, so my questions seem answered! That is such an awesome experience you have ahead of you. France on your own. I once roamed Seattle on foot for like 3 hours by myself and I felt like I was living life on the edge.
I gave you an award on my blog. It's on my sidebar. I have nothing new for you to read, though.
I think we all have many voices-we just can't do what they tell us to all the time.... human beings are so multi-faceted.I think it's totally normal to feel the way you feel. I have just found your blog, but already I like you and am entertained. so ramble away!
Well said! I think most people are "real" on their blogs, but also show the good stuff. Like when we go to church, and only show our good side.
Me, I guess, I'm a little of the opposite on my blog. I complain a lot on it, which makes me seem like I complain a lot.
Maybe I do, and I don't realize. I think I'm funnier and more fun to be around in person.
I think taking out vocal and facial expression removes a lot from a person.
I'm glad you brought this up!
I think most of us only put out there what we want or care to have seen.
I'm finding my voice as well. Some days it's loud and some days its soft and some days it's completely silent.
I want to get to know you better too.
I took a french history class in my sophomore year which was equally excruciating. The professor made me his teacher's pet which only caused me more discomfort as I was often the target of his playful teasing. I just wanted to escape the misery.
I think that we all show people the side we want them to see on our blogs. That's the nice thing about blogging. We can be who we want to be.
I am a total smart@ss in real life, but I definitely have my serious moments. But that's not how I write. It never has been. If there's something I feel like I need to share, that is serious, then I will.
But I definitely don't think you are one dimensional and your ARE funny!
That's the nature of blogging, isn't it? On mine, there's a very small slice of who I am. At times I wish I could feel like I could go into more private (and sometimes emotional or negative) areas, but I can't go there blog-wise.
(I'm also intensely impressed with that A-.)
Some people think from reading my blog that I'm a blithering idiot. Others who read it think I'm arrogant and intelligent. So umm.... Whatever. Someone told me I write like a dyslexic 15 year old. I said to them, "Your mom!" But not really. I used to have a job as a writer, so it's kind of ironic!
Anyway, the point of my comment is that I CHOOSE not to be the obnoxious intellectual I can be in real life on my blog. Nobody likes that person.
Umm there was no point to this either! haha
Oh but I am as funny in real life as I am on my blog, if not more! haha
You know what's funny? Your voice is sneaking it's way through, even as you feel you've shown only part of yourself so far. If that makes sense.
At least for me (and I'm pretty sure lots of other people) your heart just shouts LOVELY and will continue to do so as your voice changes, no matter what you have to say or what side of you that's shown. If that makes sense. :)
Oh, I definitely think your voice shines through on your blog.
I am wittier on my blog because I have time to think of all the funny ways to say something...in real time, sometimes it doesn't come to me as quickly.
You're right, you are rather serious in real life. But you're funny too. You're not a comedian but real life and real thoughts are just funny sometimes. So congrats on being both funny and serious. You're a babe.
PS I've met you in real life...but I wish we could hang out again in real life. :)
Gross-French is gross. So is literature. Gross.
I think you're funny-but I also think it's true that we only show/write what we want people to see.
And I like the red on your blog. It's pretty.
the beauty of life is discovering things about yourself every day and this was a wonderful post!!!!
I don't think this is necessarily an online phenomenon since even in our real life relationships there are things about us that we don't put out there. (This is why I don't invite people into my home that often when they just show up on the doorstep... some things about me are better unknown!) Besides our mothers, spouses, and siblings, there aren't many folks that know the majority of our facets. But we still get a good feel for who who we like and who we click with based on our limited interactions. Hence, I (and all your other blog-fans) are here. :)
I love the way you portray yourself...and I'm telling you...I'm totally open to planning a bloggy bash somewhere along I-15! =)
Blogging is magical. It improved your sense of humor (according to your husband) and it's really helped to open my mind, as I get an insight into the thoughts of so many people that I would never have a chance to normally. It's fascinating.
You say you like me and want to get to know me better? So come to Poland!! :) Really, when I'm in Utah I'll have to try to catch up with some of you fellow bloggers!
First, I think you are wonderful!
Having said that..I think its hard, finding ourselves..our voice!
The people that know me best say they see more of the TRUE ME on my blog, more than anywhere. I'm still not sure if that is good or bad. One has tried to explain that in person, I am quiet and reserved. But on my blog, I am open, candid, and opinionated..which is who I really am. But I hide it under a shy exterior.
P.S. I PROMISE, that if I EVER come through Cedar City, I will warn you first and we can do lunch.
Blogs are great because we can be however we want to be. Im silly both on my blog and in real life. But I also have a very deep serious side to me. I started another blog for that stuff. I hardly ever write on it though... I don't even think I have it up on my profile... I don't know, people dont always want to read "deep". Some do though. Anyway, To thine own self be true Erin...
Be you. have fun.
Writing should be enjoyable... if you are enjoying yourself, write however your little heart desires. :)
I think we are all still trying to find our voice. I know I am. I think that is a lifelong journey. I know I get frustrated that I don't know the anwser right now but I'm working on it. That's all any of us can do!
Isn't that the beautiful thing about blogging? We get to show the sides of self that we only want people to see! Ha. I love the new look of your blog. Can't wait for you to go to Paris this spring! Wahoo!
I think you are witty and funny:) I love reading your blog and love random thoughts too. I do the same thing. Did you know that blogging is therapuetic? They have actually done studies and found that it is beneficial to our mental health. So I say blog on!!
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