I'm taller than my husband when I wear shoes and he is barefoot (and he is 6'1"). I can say the alphabet backwards in 5 seconds. I LOVE cereal - I would eat it for every meal if my family didn't object. I am a francophile (j'adore la langue française). I play the piano, and I love to teach; at one insane point I had 42 students. If I could do whatever I wanted 24 hours a day, I would read and blog. I love my family, and I don't think I show them often enough. I watch entirely too much tv. I eat chocolate every day.
Tammy asked me if I ever feel like my husband is analyzing me. Good question Tammy! A lot of people wonder if Christian is psychologizing them while they talk to him. And the answer is no. Here's why...because he doesn't want to work after work hours. He leaves work at work, and when he's home, he's home. He is a husband and a father at home.
Here are some reasons, however, why I do love being married to a psychologist:
He is a great listener.
He wants to communicate with me.
He senses when I am upset about something and asks me about it.
When I cry (which happens pretty frequently), he asks me what is wrong and doesn't try to avoid the situation.
He validates my feelings.
He often sees things from a different perspective that I had never thought of.
He encourages me to be myself.
My husband rocks as a husband. He also rocks as a psychologist/therapist. But in reality, he can't be my therapist because he is too involved in my life. When you need therapy, you need a therapist who isn't related to you and who doesn't know you personally. It's a conflict of interest to have a relationship with clients outside of therapy.
This song sums it up (and it is all kinds of awesome):
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Anonymous
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I love that song! I wish my husband was a little more like a therapist and less like a ninja problem solver. Grrr.
Grr..I can't listen to the song from where I am right now! Must.Remember.To.Come.Back!
Can I just say Thank You Tammy. I have wondered this myself..but never asked. You would think as many questions as I ask you..it would have come up!! Great post!
:) I married a guy with a psychology background, although he does research -and he is a really good listener (when I need him to be. ;) )and he's really good at observing me and my moods and my habits and tendencies. Sometimes I think he knows me/ understands me better than I do. :)
I think one of the reasons people benefit from psychologists is cuz they can finally unload their thoughts on someone that's not too close to them to judge or become a part of it, but that can still help them. I definitely understand why they avoid conflicts of interest.
I think it would be very healthy being married to a psychologist.
And I remember hearing once that Dr. Phil said the same thing--he leaves it at work. And if he ever tries to say anything remotely "therapisty," his wife flips out and says, "Don't you dare go all Dr. Phil on me!"
Your husband sounds very healthy. I have two coworkers who basically married "clients", in the sense that they have to fix them all the time. It must be exhasuting for them.
LOVE the song!! And I am glad that he doesn't bring his work home but I am glad that it has made him a good listener and more intune with your feelings.
I hate having to communicate. ☺ I'm not very good at it. I think it's because I am so not patient. I don't like having to take the time to get down to the nitty gritty of things.
Your a lucky one. Both my sister and her husband are in school for psychology and we are all constantly "analyzed". Maybe after another year or so, it will stop....
Yeah, my hubby hates working at home, too. It drives him nuts when neighbors, family or ward members ask him financial or tax advice. He's like, "dude, I get paid for this. Why on earth would I want to do it for free?"
That would be very crazy to have a therapist as my husband but I am sure it is also helpful. I wish I would be up north for lunch, but I guess I will have to wait for another Southern Utah blog lunch.
He sounds like an amazing husband! I always feel like in my marriage my husband says "can we talk?" more than I do. He is definitely the more natural communicator...me not so much. I am sorry that you struggle with anxiety too (am finally reading some past posts I missed after being gone) Keep us posted on the where of the bloggy lunch and if possible I will try to be there. I would love to meet you (just shy never having attended a bloggy lunch EVER before :)
He sounds like a wonderful man, husband, and father! Glad he can separate the two and yet also know how to put into practice what he teaches others! Kudos to your hubby!
Sounds like the benefits totally outweigh the worries. I think it would help my marriage if I was married to a therapist for the exact reasons you listed. You're a lucky girl. A lot of that is missing in my life.
Christian and I met our junior year in high school, hated each other, dated each other's best friends our senior year, fell in love six days before he went on his mission, and got engaged eight days after he came home from his mission. We were married in the Laie Hawaii LDS temple. We have been married for fourteen years and we have three sweet children.
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“The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step out of the frame.” ~ Salman Rushdie
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. ~Steve Jobs
It is a waste of time and energy to worry about what others are thinking about you. because... You can never know exactly what another person is thinking...AND, the wost part is...they are usually not thinking about you at all. They are too busy worrying about what others are thinking about them. So, the truth is, all those terrible thoughts you thought they might be thinking about you, are your own thoughts about yourself. Better spend your energy worrying about that...or, you just might convince somebody to think what you were afraid they might be thinking after all. ~Portia Nelson
"When we honestly ask which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness ... makes it clear that whatever happens in the external world, being present to each other is what really matters." ~Henri Nouwen
"...People need to talk, and often a willingness to sit and listen is the greatest kindness one person can offer to another. One of the first lessons of childhood is to be wary of strangers, and while this is good counsel to guard against the world's very small nefarious element, it also teaches us to block out the large majority of those who just have something on their mind they'd like to say. We are taught to be suspicious, especially of anyone who might not look like us or share our beliefs. By the time we reach adulthood, many have perfected the art of isolation, of being careful, of not listening in the name of safety. But the truth is that we need to hear other people, all people, especially in those moments when we don't know exactly where we're going ourselves." ~Ann Patchett
"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor to measure words but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away." ~George Eliot
"Sometimes, I imagine my own life as a series of snapshots taken by some omniscient artist who is just keeping track - not interfering or saying anything, just capturing the moment for me to look back at it again later....This is the way it is, the photograph says, and I nod my head in appreciation. The power of art is in that nod of appreciation, though sometimes I puzzle nothing out, and the nod is more a shrug. No, I do not understand this one, but I see it. I take it in. I will think about it. If I sit with this image long enough, this story, I have the hope of understanding something I did not understand before. And that, too, is art, the best art." ~Dorothy Allison
31 people wanted to leave a comment:
I love that song! I wish my husband was a little more like a therapist and less like a ninja problem solver. Grrr.
Grr..I can't listen to the song from where I am right now! Must.Remember.To.Come.Back!
Can I just say Thank You Tammy. I have wondered this myself..but never asked. You would think as many questions as I ask you..it would have come up!! Great post!
I'm almost tempted to say that I wish I was married to a psychologist!! What benefits! Being understood? That alone is worth it!
Love the song. lol.
:) I married a guy with a psychology background, although he does research -and he is a really good listener (when I need him to be. ;) )and he's really good at observing me and my moods and my habits and tendencies. Sometimes I think he knows me/ understands me better than I do. :)
Yep one of the first things they teach you is not to analyze your own family :)
That song was awesome!
I think one of the reasons people benefit from psychologists is cuz they can finally unload their thoughts on someone that's not too close to them to judge or become a part of it, but that can still help them. I definitely understand why they avoid conflicts of interest.
That song is hysterical.
I think it would be very healthy being married to a psychologist.
And I remember hearing once that Dr. Phil said the same thing--he leaves it at work. And if he ever tries to say anything remotely "therapisty," his wife flips out and says, "Don't you dare go all Dr. Phil on me!"
I can understand him not wanting to work after hours. Kind of how my hubby doesn't want to fly anywhere after he gets home from work.
Your husband sounds very healthy. I have two coworkers who basically married "clients", in the sense that they have to fix them all the time. It must be exhasuting for them.
I think it's so great that your husband is there for you and listens. He sounds wonderful. That song is hilarious. Love it.
How funny Erin. The song. I think you are so lucky to have your husband be so in tune and validating. You are blessed.
Hilarious song.
Glad Christian doesn't "go all Dr. Christian on you" but glad that he does understand things about communication that a lot of men don't get.
LOVE the song!! And I am glad that he doesn't bring his work home but I am glad that it has made him a good listener and more intune with your feelings.
I hate having to communicate. ☺ I'm not very good at it. I think it's because I am so not patient. I don't like having to take the time to get down to the nitty gritty of things.
Yeah, I wondered about this, too. But every therapist I've ever known has been remarkably easy to be around socially, so maybe this explains why.
sounds like the perfect husband. any chance he has any single, male co-workers who are equally as great??? ;)
My hubby is an Eng prof so everyone worries about speaking proper English around him.
Your husband sounds like a great catch!
I get free contacts and glasses because of my husband's job but I somehow think your perks are a WEE bit better. Yay!
I should marry a psychologist.
He would be the only one that could put up with my crazy.
You may have just given me a great idea...
He sounds great....aww...now I'm tearing up.
Your a lucky one. Both my sister and her husband are in school for psychology and we are all constantly "analyzed". Maybe after another year or so, it will stop....
Yeah, my hubby hates working at home, too. It drives him nuts when neighbors, family or ward members ask him financial or tax advice. He's like, "dude, I get paid for this. Why on earth would I want to do it for free?"
Well, for those reasons alone I think we would all love a psychologist for a Husband. He sounds great.
Great post and I like your writing style. And thanks for the blog tips on the left.
JennyMac
That would be very crazy to have a therapist as my husband but I am sure it is also helpful. I wish I would be up north for lunch, but I guess I will have to wait for another Southern Utah blog lunch.
Makes me want to send my husband off to study psychology!
Oh my goodness, that is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!! We need to put all men through psych courses, haha!
He sounds like an amazing husband! I always feel like in my marriage my husband says "can we talk?" more than I do. He is definitely the more natural communicator...me not so much. I am sorry that you struggle with anxiety too (am finally reading some past posts I missed after being gone) Keep us posted on the where of the bloggy lunch and if possible I will try to be there. I would love to meet you (just shy never having attended a bloggy lunch EVER before :)
He sounds like a wonderful man, husband, and father! Glad he can separate the two and yet also know how to put into practice what he teaches others! Kudos to your hubby!
Sounds like the benefits totally outweigh the worries. I think it would help my marriage if I was married to a therapist for the exact reasons you listed. You're a lucky girl. A lot of that is missing in my life.
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