Big Changes

Have you ever had a conversation that was so eye-opening, so knock-your-socks-off-revealing-about-things-you-had-never-seen-in-yourself-before that you know you will never be the same again? I have had only a handful of these kinds of conversations in my lifetime, and Christian and I had one Saturday night. I realized a lot of things about myself, and I will share just a few of them with you. Up until Saturday night:

• many - or perhaps most - decisions I make/made in my life are/were based in fear
• I have walls surrounding myself/heart/mind that only very few people are allowed to penetrate, and even if they are allowed in, it is only momentarily and not permanently
• I tend to view things as a victim
• I now understand why I have a difficult time with spontaneity
• I thought I had worked through any and all issues pertaining to abuses and things in the past, but I realized there are still residual issues I was completely unaware of
• I have always been hard on myself and had negative self-talk, but now I understand better why

Wow, what a conversation! I believe recognizing all of these things is the first step toward making my life, and as a direct correlation, our marriage, better.

This conversation was a turning point and a beginning of a new me. Watch out world, here I come!