It seems to me that blogging is not only selfish, as in I write for personal motives (and you, as the unwitting reader, get pulled into that selfishness), but it seems to be even more than that. Blogging is also narcissistic. People want to read what I want to write about, so I must be special. (This is what I am thinking in general terms for the mainstream blogging public. Please point it out if you think I'm wrong. {See, even that sentence is asking for validation. Narcissism.}).
However, I have been feeling like I don't want to just be a drivelly, writey person. I want to make a difference somehow. But since I don't know how, and I don't want to be perceived as selfish and narcissistic, I just don't write on my blog. Period.
(This post kind of reminds me of when Phoebe on Friends wants to find a truly selfless act that doesn't make her feel good inside, so she lets a bee sting her. But then someone points out that the bee probably died after stinging her, so she failed her mission.)
I know I have talked before about why I write my blog, and I have asked you why you write yours, but now I'm asking you why you read blogs. And does it differ from why you write blogs?
P.S. I have a terrible cold right now and my brain is functioning on not enough sleep and Nyquil. If this post doesn't make sense, now you know why.
P.P.S. It's kind of silly that I wrote this post about not wanting to be narcissistic on my own blog, but since next week is my birthday week, I'm planning on writing a post every day about whatever I want (i.e. being narcissistic). No, the irony is not lost on me.
30 people wanted to leave a comment:
I read blogs because I am interested in people and how they think and the way they live their lives and how they write about it. I especially really like the people (I haven't met) who are behind the blogs and I honestly want to know what they felt like writing about, whether it's something important, self-congratulatory, validation-seeking, whatever silly, whatever. You don't have to feel narcissistic if you know that your readers actually want to hear what you say, not because they expect you to change the world with it (although that's a noble goal) but because it's how we connect with Erin, who we care about.
Almost everything I write is because I thought about something and felt like writing it out. I sometimes have the same problem worrying that I'm writing something nobody wants to read, or why would they, but I try hard to just not worry about that. I have expressed lots of times that I don't want anyone to feel like they have to read what I write, even if we're blogging friends. I go into it thinking "if someone is not interested they just won't read" so I don't have to feel guilty. At one point after I started writing these thoughts out on my blog I started getting far fewer comments and every post had a very different number of comments. I really loved that. I feel that's how it should be (for me). It meant that the people who had something to say did, the others didn't. Of course I loved always having lots of comments, but I actually feel more comfortable this way.
Your timing for this post is perfect, Erin. I haven't written anything (except something I wanted to remember for myself in a years ahead) for a couple of weeks because I have subjects I want to write about but they are just not important. When I sit down to write about them I feel like it would be a waste of people's time to read them. I need to get back to just writing what I want. I recently read some of my old posts and I think, "I will enjoy reading that stuff 20 years from now, even the unimportant stuff" so I'll just keep writing what I'm thinking about and try not to worry too much.
Novel over.
I read my friends' blogs, and craft blogs. The reason I read craft blogs is probably obvious--to be inspired. The reason I have a craft blog is to share what I make, and yes, it feels good to be recognized, but I also get very excited to share my ideas and hope for the best. Sometimes it is a let down if people don't seem to like something, but then I have to remember that hopefully someone out there found it useful! I know you didn't ask why I blog, but I think the craft world might be a tiny bit different where blogging is concerned, but still...there are many MANY overlapping areas that you talked about here.
I think blogging is a way to connect with other people.
I always get excited when I find a blogger who is similar to me, who writes about silly celebrities, etc.
I think it brings a sense of community and friendship.
Plus, it allows me to judge people, so it's a win/win.
I just read family blogs and since you are family, I read your blog! That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it, I just don't go looking for other blogs to read. I almost always like what you have to say so keep it up. :) I just write my blog to tell the world what we are up to and show off how cute my kids are. My other blog that I was trying to write failed miserably because I could never really think of stuff I wanted to write about. I don't find writing for writing sake enjoyable though.
I started writing just cuz I had random thoughts in my head that I thought would be fun to write down. That's why I still write. And I don't get them as often---so I don't write as often. I don't like when I force myself to do something.
I didn't realize there was a big blogging community at first, but now the people that comment on my blogs are "friends" that I enjoy connecting with on a regular basis.
Oh, Erin, you make me laugh (and that is good). I guess that's why I read (when I have time). I like to witness for myself how other people think, react, interact and so forth. As a stay-at-home mom it is easy to feel alone, trapped in the fishbowl that is my house. Reading blogs helps me look outside that fishbowl and see that others sometimes feel the same.
Also, I'll admit that sometimes I write because I need validation (narcissism?).
Also, I like to comment because I love the funny word verification words. Today's is *hotochi*. What do you think that means?
Simply put I read to find a connection. To know that I'm not the only on out there in the world who doesn't get laundry done and who hates dealing with hormones. I read to know that I'm not alone.
I read for entertainment, usually ending up finding things in common with others, and to get other's opinions on things I may not have heard about yet! (Usually baby boy related) :)
And I was compelled to come here and comment today because it's also my birthday week! (Today in fact!)
Happy birthday to you!
I think I have different reasons for reading different blogs. Most of the blogs I read are because I want to keep up with people that I miss (that's you!!). Other blogs I read are more informational - couponing, deals, etc. Those are my main ones. You can write whatever you want to and (as far as I'm concerned) I will ALWAYS read it! It was great to see you a couple weeks ago and I miss you tons!
Man, Kristina cracks me up.
Very good question--and not one with a clear answer. It's interesting that you'd ask it, because the entire "why would anyone want to read what I wrote?" is something all writers face, whether it's on a blog or a magazine article or a novel (and in the latter cases, you have the audacity to think people will not only want to read your words, but PAY to do so).
I read blogs for lots of reasons. Among them: I read blogs to connect with others (I tend to be a hermit, and blogging is a way to interact). I read them to learn new things, to see new perspectives, to keep in touch with friends. Lots and lots of reasons.
I love the connection that I feel to more 'moms' out there than just those in my neighborhood/area. I like reading blogs and being entertained and educated. It's nice to see that there are other moms out there trying to do their bests too.
Yippee for November birthdays (mine was yesterday :)
For me it's mostly about connecting with other women. Other moms who are trying to navigate motherhood, especially. I do like crafty blogs a lot, too, since I like that sort of thing and I like getting ideas and looking at pretty things.
I tend to lose interest in a blog when they start writing too much about blogging. Does that sound weird? But when every post is about blogs or blogging or how to blog or whatever (I don't mind a few and have written them myself!) I get bored because it doesn't feel real.
I mostly just love what Lisa said up there at the top, so I'll have to ditto her. She is very good at these well thought out answers.
And, also, sometimes reading blogs doesn't fit into my life, and I have decided that that is okay. Yes my comments go way down during those periods, but I have never written my blog for other people, so it doesn't really bother me.
I love reading about other people's lives. Makes mine seem better sometimes...
I also get great parenting and household ideas!
I haven't really thought about it that much. Part of it, is that to be a part of a community, to make friends, you have to contribute. Part of it is just the need to get certain things off my chest the same way I might while chatting with friends.
I write to share my life with others. It's a great outlet for me. I have a private blog for the super journally stuff, but my public one is a more censored version of my venting/outlet place, as well as keeping people up-to-date on my life.
I read blogs as a way of seeing others' perspectives and staying up-to-date in their lives. I've gotten many a good idea for organizing or dealing with mom things through blog-reading. It's just nice to know there are others going through similar difficulties and joys.
Good question!
I guess by "others" I mostly mean friends and family. I don't get into the blog-community much, but it's a fun place for sure.
Interesting. I READ blogs because giving others my time and feedback is the opposite of narcissism. Why is it bad to need validation? It's a personality trait like any other. It's only narcissistic if it's a one-way street- if you expect others to give to YOU without any giving back on your own part.
I read and comment FAR more than I post. It's amazing how a little comment can brighten someone's day, validate their choices, and help carry their burden. I like doing that for people and I'm genuinely interested in the stories of others.
I love what Lisa wrote. Amen to that.
I've been blogging for four and a half years now. The blogs on my feed reader have changed drastically as the years have gone by. I used to read silly, light hearted blogs. Then I got hooked on writerly blogs. Then I found food blogs, and then deep, thought-provoking blogs. I've ended up reading a pleasant mix of all the above, but the writers of all those very different from each other blogs have one thing in common...
I like them. I find them genuine and open. They make me smile, or think, or lift my spirits by making me feel not so alone (YOU make me feel that OFTEN) in my oddities. I read those blogs because I get something out of it. Blog reading is kind of self-serving too. We wouldn't spend the time doing it if it didn't!
Hi! I'm an alphabet-backwards kind of girl, as well (I bet you can do it in 2.4 seconds...that's my record).
I'm not much into blogging, but I do run a website called The Power of Moms, and the whole reason I do it is to try to make a difference.
We're publishing a book right now to go with our Learning Circles program--I wondered if you might want to participate. We've got lots of exciting stuff going on in our organization, and we're trying to involve more great mom writers!
Thanks,
April
I read blogs to keep in contact with those people I know and miss. It is always fun to know how everyone is doing even when we can't all live close to one another!!!
Like others have said, blogging makes me feel somewhat "connected" to the outside world. Outside of my house. I feel in touch with friends, make new blog friends and like to hear different perspectives. Blogs by nature are narcissistic and i'm fine with that, but some have a very arrogant nature to them & I don't like that. I like blogs that are real. I blog for memory purposes I guess. And I like to write. Even if no one is always reading but me and my Mom.
(hey! i didn't know you had a private blog...wondering where your kid posts went...i'd like an invite)
I think I read blogs to have a little brain-vacation from my own life. Not that it's a bad life, but sometimes, reading takes me into another world for a little while.
I also read a lot of blogs of people who are similar to me, or are in similar situations/roles as me. Then I don't feel so alone in what I'm doing.
I, for one, am glad you have a blog. Keep on writing! *I* want to hear it! :)
I think sometimes we over-think our own creative spaces. I write, many times to have a creative experience. Sometimes I write about my family, but not too often. I like to explore metaphors for life and leave small thoughts about life experiences. I like to try and leave something for people to think about.
I read blogs because i love getting to know people. It is one of my joys in life. So reading and hearing about how people solve problems, or how people feel about certain topics, or how people spend their free thinking time is very uplifting to me.
I lose interest when the blogs become all about baby things, or about tons of details in a person's life. That feels too personal. I like snapshots and opportunities to draw my own conclusions
My feeling is that blogs are there for WHATEVER you feel like posting about. Sometimes I also feel like I post too much about my kids, etc. but I tell myself that it is my virtual scrapbook/journal. Do whatever makes you happy! We aren't judging you, I promise!!
PS. Feel better soon!
First of all..I hope you get feeling better soon!
I've gone through many cycles with my blog. I began my blog in the spirit of journal, which led to writing for an audience and then back again. I'm stuck in the middle right now, not sure what I'm trying to achieve. Although, I do know that I have quit (for the most part), worrying what others think, whether they comment etc. I write what I feel, when I feel like it, and whatever comes naturally. If nothing else, I would like my blog to be a chance for my kids to look back on, read and be able to "hear my voice".
Although, I do appreciate the friendships. Blogging has helped me to feel less alone in this big world.
(And yes, I probably could have contradicted myself at least 2-3 more times. I don't know what I want, that is painfully obvious -or why I blog)
I read blogs because that's how I get to hang out with grown ups during the day. I write blog posts because I have a talent it seems a shame to waste.
I read blogs because I find them interesting. I find your writing interesting. I have my cousins' blogs on my reader out of a feeling of obligation, but I usually end up just skipping through them, because they're *not* interesting.
I don't know why I write my blog, but I'm obviously not very good at it.
I read blogs because...
...they let me know I'm not alone
...they are entertaining
...they can be uplifting
...they are real
Amber,
www.ambermaybe.com
It's funny, I am the only blogger I actually know. None of my little circle of family or friends seem interested in putting all of their stuff out there...
I first started reading blogs (yours is actually the first blog I think I ever read!) by accident. I was a big "read the news on the interent" girl, as opposed to actually buying a newspaper, and I stumbled across something you wrote that interested me. When I started reading more, I thought it was neat to peek into other people's lives -- just as much of their lives as they would give you.
I'm not a peeper, but I love to get a glimpse into other people's houses, when it's dark out and the lights are on, you know, just walking by -- reading other's blogs is like that for me.
Do you cook what I cook, do you love your family like I love mine? Do you get tired of the things that I am tired of? Do you long for things like I do? Questions that sometimes get answered, thoughts that sometimes get validated.
As a very private, quiet and shy person, I kind of keep to myself, and reading (and writing) blogs is a way for me to connect with people that I might be too shy to be friends with in real life.
When you write about your real life, it makes me want to keep reading. It makes me like you, it makes me wish that I was comfy enough to sit with a cup of coffee and actually speak with you vs. participating and commenting virtually.
I question writing on my blog too -- I think I go through that thought every few months or so. But so far, I can't help but keep coming back. I hope you do too Erin. :)
Ok I know I'm a month behind, but I'm slowly catching up on my reading!
Even though I have moved around my entire life, I've always been able to appreciate the many different people I've come into contact with. I feel like blogging allows me to meet (and stalk) so many (and fabulous) people that I might have never come into contact with, or taken the time to get to know.
I write because it's a huge stress relief for me. I've never seen myself as creative, but I often make everyone around me crack up...so, sometimes I share my insanity and hope it makes someone smile, which is my ultimate goal!
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