Over the weekend, Christian and I were talking about how we can be more authentic to ourselves (when your husband is a psychologist, you tend to have many serious discussions like this). He pointed out that I never play the piano for fun anymore, and that I never speak French to anyone or even watch French movies anymore.
(Of course, if I don't want to do these things, it is okay, but if I identify myself as a piano player and/or a lover of all things French, then why don't I actually pursue these interests? Why do I seem to have such an incongruence between who I say or think I am, and who I act like I am?)
(That last sentence may not make sense to you, but it does to me, so I'm not changing it.)
So, I thought about it for a while. I know I've got issues, and they came up while we were talking, but I also realized that I watch a lot of TV, and that cuts into what little free time I have. So I deleted three subscriptions to shows I watch off of my TiVo. Then I sat down at the piano and played a beautiful piece arranged by Sherrie Shepherd. It was relaxing and lovely. And it showed me how rusty I have become from lack of playing.
I will continue pondering over how I can make my life more congruent with my feelings. Next, I think I will watch one of the French movies that are in my Netflix queue. (Does anyone have any suggestions of good French movies they have seen?)
(Does anyone else find incongruence in their lives, or is it just me?)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad (my computer has a virus. Typing a blog post on an iPad is harder than it seems.)
To Sum It Up
- Erin
- I'm taller than my husband when I wear shoes and he is barefoot (and he is 6'1"). I can say the alphabet backwards in 5 seconds. I LOVE cereal - I would eat it for every meal if my family didn't object. I am a francophile (j'adore la langue française). I play the piano, and I love to teach; at one insane point I had 42 students. If I could do whatever I wanted 24 hours a day, I would read and blog. I love my family, and I don't think I show them often enough. I watch entirely too much tv. I eat chocolate every day.
E-Friends
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17 people wanted to leave a comment:
I think it's healthy to take a break sometimes. Even from things that we love and identify ourselves with. I feel like doing so takes away the possibility of getting bored and when I return to doing something I love, I love it all the more.
Yeah, so my virus that I thought I fixed? Still here!!! I wish I had an iPad to use. Sob.
I SOOO understand this post! I'm always trying to realign who I think I am and who I really am and who I want to be. That's the ultimate puzzle to my life--figuring myself out! :-)
I understand this post, too! It's a good reminder to think about, so thank you for it!
Hooray for more piano and French!
I read this and thought you'd like it: http://tinyurl.com/6cttrf4
I really like Brene Brown's writing and bet you will, too. I've got a couple of her books if you ever want to borrow them.
You must be in tune with what I needed to hear today. I wish we all had a Christian to remind us of the things we are doing and not doing. I love my Tivo'd shows so that I can fall asleep at night. Just think most of them take the summer off! I wish I had someone to play the piano for me!
I already recommended this to you, but if you haven't watched it yet, watch "Heart Breaker." So cute!
I think my only feelings of incongruence are about how much I love being a mother and how often I actually ACT like this job is such a burden and would everybody please just leave me alone for ONE MINUTE!?!! But I'm working on that.
Just tonight we were delighted when a Louis de Funes movie came on TV. Do you know him? Old, old, old French comedic actor? We love him. But then we love weird old movies. Especially Greg, but I like Louis quite a lot, too.
I think the WV words are getting weirder. Mine is "angersob".
oh boy, this post really spoke to me... I didn't know the word for it until now, but I feel a lot of incongruence in my life. The older I get, the more important I think it is to take time for myself and pursue things I love that are just "me". I really enjoy keeping a fish aquarium and sewing just to name a few.
Good for you!! :) Thanks for sharing
Absolutely. I've been so bummed recently because I've given up some of my favorite things, singing and speaking French, because I'm busy in my life as a mom. The one thing I try to do "for myself" anymore is run, and that's even a mediocre attempt. I think the only place I have leverage to cut anything out reading friends' blogs. Hmmm. I need to get to the spot you're in right now. :)
Yeah, this is a good one. I watch way too much TV, but in all honesty, it's only in the evening while I exercise and then while I'm too exhausted from the day to do anything else. I keep thinking I'll just turn it off and clean or play a game with my husband or figure out a song on the guitar...but I lack the energy, man! Thanks for the reminder. It IS important to be honest with yourself (did you have the Honesty lesson in RS? I did and it got me thinking about this stuff).
I'm totally the same way, especially with piano! I sat down and played for like 10 minutes yesterday, and it was so nice to play JUST TO PLAY!
I think sometimes my entire life is an incongruence, but then again, that's what life is all about isn't it? You can love things, you can declare yourself as "something" but we all have ebbs and flows.....
I wish we lived in the same town, because I desperately need someone to practice speaking French with! Oh well.
Yep, I feel this way too. I think for me it is because I have 3 little kids who are ALWAYS with me. Keira goes to preschool twice a week (which is ending next week) and so my breaks from any kids are few and far between. If I try to sit down and play the piano, they just want me to play music they know (aka, primary music) so yeah. I haven't played anything real in months (years??). I used to cross stitch and loved it but when I had Keira I quit because I was afraid she was going to ruin it or get into my needles or scissors. Also something I would like to get back into but probably won't happen until my last child is much older. That could be a while since I don't even know if my last child is born yet. lol.
Anyway, thanks for giving me something to think about.
I feel exactly as you do. Except for reading I pretty much do nothing that I love. /sigh I know I need to get back to doing these things, but I swear it seems like something always comes up. I thought life would be easier when my kids got older. In a lot of ways it is harder.
I totally get this. I think many times I only have the energy to do what I have to do, and what I want to do falls by the wayside. TV/internet fill a void, but one that is out of exhaustion, if that makes sense? Although I only watch 2 shows. But I spend more time than I should online.
Great thoughts. I have so many things I want to do!
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