Imagine that you and your spouse (or significant other, or anyone else with whom you have a close relationship) are the long sides of a letter A (facing each other). Your heads are touching, and your feet are semi-far apart from each other. You rely on each other because if one of you moves, the other one will fall. Everything you do relies upon the other person doing it too. And if the short crossbar, or whatever it is that is creating the horizontal line to complete the A, falls out from between you, what do you have? A completely unstable system that is sure to fall.
Now, imagine that the two of you are the vertical lines in the letter H. You can stand on your own, choosing how long or short the horizontal line is between you. You can even choose to connect hands to create the line. You can choose to be close together, or you can choose to step away but still be within eye contact. And, best of all, if the short crossbar falls out from between you, what do you have? You still have two people, able to stand on their own, who can choose how to create a new crossbar.
(These ideas are inspired in part by the book Passionate Marriage.)
8 people wanted to leave a comment:
I love this idea.
This reminds me a lot of my concept of couples and train couplings: http://cajoh.blogspot.com/2009/10/couples-and-train-couplings.html
Enjoy,
Ah yes, co-dependency vs inter-dependency. A hard lesson for some of us to learn.
I like it compared to letters A and H. I'll have to tell Louie because he still doesn't quite get what co-dependent means (which isn't his problem, he's just unfamiliar with the term when I talk about it).
This is a fabulous post and so well said. Breaking free of that co-dependence is a life long, daily, sometime hourly pursuit. Thanks for sharing this.
Wow. Although, I must say our problem tends to lie more in not having the connecting line. :)
Fantastic analogy. Love it.
I like it! Thanks for the visual along with the discussion of a relationship.
I like this!
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