In the last two days, I've lost two Followers. Now, I realize the whole follower thing is kind of silly in the first place...if you like what you have read, you leave a comment. But to lose two says to me, "We used to like you, but we don't anymore." I haven't tried to figure out who they are. I guess it really doesn't matter. But I have also noticed that in the last four months, since I have started getting more commenters/blog friends, that almost everyone I actually know in person has stopped commenting on my blog. I'm not sure if they are intimidated by the number of comments I have, or the fact that people I don't know in real life are acting like they are my friends...or maybe the people I know in real life think I have changed...or maybe they don't like who I am now that they are hearing more about me...or maybe they don't have time to blog anymore (but I can see on my feedjit that they still check my blog but don't comment). Opening myself up in the blog world kind of allows uncertainties and insecurities to boil up, but I want to be myself, and not just the best version of myself, but my real self. I have even sat here for 30 minutes trying to decide whether to publish this or not.
So I'm having a low self-esteem moment. Am I doing something wrong? Is anyone (or everyone) out there mad at me for something that I don't know about?
I guess my life lesson right now is this: Love myself. Don't let others' view of me affect me. Some people just won't like me, and it's nothing I did - in fact, maybe I won't like them either. Remember that I am a child of God, and that is what matters most.
Monday, December 15
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I am totally new to your blog--just stopped over from BlogStalkers Unite. After reading through a few of your posts, I think we are long lost twins. Haha! I would totally post something like this if I lost two followers! So I have no advice for you, but you've got a new follower: ME! (Little consolation, I know!)
Glad I stopped by and looking forward to getting to know you better! (LOVE your blog name, btw!!)
I've hardly got a big following, but I've found the same thing--real world friends rarely comment, although every so often they'll drop me an e-mail "comment." What the heck?
And doh! You're on my reader, but I spaced clicking on the follower doohickey. You'll be up one now. :D
I LOVE your blog!! And I wish that I knew you in person!! I know what you mean though. I miss seeing my friends on my comments.
Anyway--you still have 75 followers so that means that you are way more popular than me....I only have 61!! (did that make you feel any better?) (0;
What I have learned from the real life friends that have stopped commenting:
#1 they are lame to not comment and
#2 a couple of them have said that when they get to my blog and see a post already has 20 comments, why should they leave one? My very best friend has told me that a couple times.
Oh well, you can't please them all! And they are just jealous that you are total blogstar!
I am a forever follower and want you to know I l♥ve you l♥ts! Hope you have a blessed and very Merry Christmas! ♥ Hugs :)
OK I am guilty! I have been reading, but I am so.. blogged out, or stressed out because of Christmas. I will try to comment more when i read
Liz
Hey, Just wanted to let you know that I still love you and I love that you have become more yourself here! It is the busiest time of the year for alot of people (me) and Although we still read, to keep up with you we are just strict with our time and don't leave comments as much. Your blog is lovely!
Erin, don't feel bad. I think I have maybe 4 friends and family members who even comment at all anymore. I've heard this happen to a lot of people, once they get more of a stranger following.
And honestly, this is why I really dislike the Follower thing, and I don't do it. Because it's too easy to get caught up in how many followers so and so has, etc.
Well I like you. :)
I've had this happen to me too.. With my friends not commenting as much as strangers. But then i guess i am just amazed that people read my blog anyway, esp. the strangers.
And you are right, you are a child of God's and that is the most important thing.
That, and you are going to france, that is another important thing. But i guess that really has nothing to do with blogging. I just think it's cool! :)
I have nightmares about going back to high school. It's the last think I would ever want to do.
Don't feel bad. I have to double dog dare my family to leave comments and it very rearly works. I've had to tell them that I made the assumption they don't love me. Still didn't work. I've resigned myself to the fact that they will very rarely, if ever comment. Also, don't stress over the loss of followers. I'm sure there's a simple explanation to it all. I think your blog is great for what it's worth.
Blogging definitely has an element of High schol to it. A few of my very closest friends never comment either. Kind of weird, since I do on theirs, but that's why I like to find new bloggy friends like you.
Erin, try taking down your followers ( you can get them back VERY easily), taking down your counter, and taking down your feedjit. Then write your blog just the same as you do everyday and see what happens over a month's time. I'll bet ANYTHING that you'll feel MUCH better. I "accidentally" lost my counter one night when I was messing with my blog and after a couple of weeks now I realize I am much happier without it. I was curious about Feedjit, but decided not to open myself up to that kind of emotional pressure. Yeah, its all interesting statistics, but are you writing your blog for statistics? The way I look at it is this...Statistics are only important when there's money involved. Unless you've got somebody paying you to write this blog and you are being pressured by an outside source to perform better and bring in more readers ( who would therefore bring in more revenue) "F" the statistics and write your blog for you. Seriously, GET RID OF THEM so you can be happy again. And that's all I'm gonna say on this topic.
(and...if I ever see a version of this post on your blog again, I'm leaving!!!) so there! LOL
AAAAH!! I still follow you! And comment when I can! Sometimes I like to check it and read and laugh or smile or whatever it is that day and then get back to my kids who take up my entire day. Sorry! I've been a lazy commenter! I'll try to be better :)
You're such a cute little basket case!
I'm still a follower but I'm not listed on your list. I made all my followings annonymous because they show up on my profile, and I try to keep my profile as un-identifying as possible so I can comment wherever I want. But I must admit, I did that a few weeks ago so I'm not one of the lost followers. Don't worry, I'm sure they still love you!
See you tomorrow!
You are beyond fabulous, babe. I've been feeling a similar sort of panic as my comment count drops abysmally. I'm hoping it's just the time of year. People getting crazy busy and trying to spend less time online. Heck, I've been reading and commenting on fewer blogs too.
Still...even knowing that, it makes me feel kinda sad and bereft. Like I've gotten used to a certain amount of support and now I'm teetering.
My real-life friends don't comment either!
My theory--real lifer don't speaka our language. Bloguage!
Keep on keep'n! I'm not going anywhere...except to click on "comment" on your blog! Bwaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
I have practically begged my family to make comments (and then my awesome mom writes about how I begged her to leave a comment and that is why she is doing it). I don't know, maybe people are intimidated by others' comments. I know I can get intimidated or feel as though no one is really going to read my one of 130 comments. I would feel and do feel the exact same way. I love to see the comments I have because I know at least someone is reading my blog, if not my family and friends ;) You are awesome!!
I love getting comments, but I really like getting them from people I know, I just don't think the people I know make comments. I liked this post, thanks!
I'm lucky if anyone posts of my blog. Well, actually you almost always do. I try to always comment, if I don't it's because I couldn't think of anything clever enough to say!
I love you Frank. Don't ever doubt that. Joking. I love you Erin. We are here for you because you are so great. Don't doubt. High School is over. But why do we still have to have doubts. So sad huh..
I only have 15 followers . . . and I'm pretty cool aren't I????
Tomorrow this will seem silly. Maybe they left because you intimidate them by your wonderfulness. Betcha never looked at it from that angle.
Just keep doing what your doing. Those that love it will remain . . . and we're all that really matters. But you already know that. :) Take care!
Ya know, blogging is just weird. NONE of my really close friends comment on my blog, ever. I *think* they read it, but even that I'm not sure of, lol. My best blogging buddies and best commenters are people I don't even know. (Like you!) There are so many weird little aspects about the blogging world that I don't understand, but I just try to not get caught up in it and just do it because I like it. Heck, you've seen MY whiny posts about no one talking to me! You're uber popular, so don't worry about it!
I can understand the insecurity, but rest assured that many people come often and comment occasionally. I figure that as long as I get one or two comments on each post, at least it validates writing it in the first place. Of course, I love MORE, but I try to have minimal requirements for satisfaction. :)
I lost a couple followers too and never figured out who they were. Oh well! Just know you're super cool and you still have lots of people that love you/your blog.
Sorry for the low self-esteem momment! I agree with everything already said. Take down the followers if it makes you feel bad. Blogging should make you happy, only do it to make you happy, no one else. I love getting to know you and think you are great! I hate anything that takes me back to high school.
OKay, well, you are so popular that I don't have time to read what everyone else has said but this is my opinion. 1) family and friends don't feel that they need to go out of their way to support you like they did in the beginning now that you are up and running like mad (I'm having the same experience and that is the conclusion I have come to) 2) a lot of people just don't comment if there are already more than 8 or 10 comments. They figure it will go unnoticed. I often feel that way even though I know I would totally notice any comment left on my blog (unless it is on an older post). As to losing followers--I have removed myself from following a couple of blogs (tho not yours) and this is why: I don't have time to read everyone's blog but I want to--I desperately want to! If it shows up on my dashboard, I'm going to read it--but I really need to cut back. So, I get rid of some of the ones that aren't the highest priority (for me, those would be the people who don't read my blog or comment or follow me--my blog is all about promoting Miss D, well, except that now I'm addicted, so there you go, however, I don't have "time" for the people who don't have time for me. I'm a bit ruthless that way. I don't even read Pioneer Woman anymore. One exception: TAMN, but I don't check her blog every day anymore, either). Hope that helps!
I get several email comments also. Don't let it get you down. Nice blog and nice person.
You're a nice person with a nice blog and it is what it is. Nobody can please everybody all the time. Its a crazy time of year for most people. Maybe "unfollowing" is the blog world version of "going no mail" like people do on message boards when they're too busy to keep up regularly. I wouldn't worry about it too much. By Jan 5th when all the kiddos are back in school, I'll bet your readership picks back up again.
I've had this same thing happen to me before and it drove me crazy. Mostly because I couldn't figure out who it was, and I called them out on my blog, and then I think everyone felt sorry for me, because I got like 10 more followers after that.
I agree, though, it is kinda stupid, but I like to follow people, because it automatically subscribes them to my google reader and that makes it easier for me to come back, so I don't have to copy/paste the address and put it on my sidebar.
Anyway, I still love you and will keep following you!
I've been thinking about taking off my follower thingy too. Should we do it together? Though, I do only have 19. I read something a few days ago, call me, I'll tell you about it. It really irritated me. You already know how I feel. People I know haven't commented from the beginning (except for you and Britt and sometimes Candace) I get excited to see one of the cousins comment, because it makes me feel closer to them, but I guess they don't care about that. I've pretty much given up on commenting on any of theirs either. I got tired of always being the one putting forth the effort. If that sounds too harsh, remove please.
Oh, and I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm feeling insecure about people that I have to deal with on a regular basis, face to face. YUCK.
Teehee. Erin, you make me smile. I feel the same way about blogging and friends commenting. You put yourself out there when you post something and when people don't comment you wonder if it was the lamest thing ever. Of course, now that I said that, I am one of the worse commenters out there...goes back to not wanting to say something dumb. (Maybe I am still living in the high school days.) :)
I don't have much of an excuse I am just not a big comment person! sorry if that hurts feelings. I love to read blogs so that I feel like I am still in touch with people that I don't get to see often...but usually I can't think of anything else to say that someone else has already said!!! I am just not that original, I guess. So sorry:)
SOOORRY! I'm just not a big blog commenter...not to mention, I'm just WAY busy with my four kiddos! But I'll try to do better...don't feel bad. I still always love to read your blog!
Hey, if this is high school, you're still totally on my sleepover list. I think you're a babe. I thought you were showing your "best you." I hear ya, though. I need to not be so concerned about what others think of me. It's easy to know, harder to do.
I love you!!
I have 13 followers. I thought I was a big shot. Thanks a lot.
Just teasing! Maybe the followers who dropped off your list just don't blog anymore?
Its funny how we can get ourselves all wrapped up in this blog world. Counting followers, counting comments, and judging ourself accordingly. I am guilty! You are great though!! I like many, only see 1 maybe 2 of my real life friends or family comment on about every 10th post. That just seems to be how it goes. I remind myself daily that is doesn't matter..that is not why I ultimately blog, even though the comments are fun!
this is the first time i've come to your blog but i know i've seen your profile picture and comments around. stopped by + saw this postt and wanted to say hello :)
none of my family [except for my mom] comments on my blog ever. in fact, my sister-in-law's have lied to me before telling me they haven't read it, when i can see them on my statcounter. it's really so dumb... but all i can figure is that they don't really get the whole blogging thing.
sorry you're having a low self-esteem moment. i hate those! but your blog is fantastic from what i've seen so far. i followed you over from.... rychelle maybe? oh i don't know. sometimes i just keep clicking and clicking. :)
amber
www.amberbelmonte.com
Sorry, Erin! You haven't done anything wrong, of course, and there is really no chance that anyone likes you LESS after reading your blog!
When I started blogging I had 3-7 comments from family and friends on every post. Now I sometimes get one comment from someone I know in real life on a post, but it's very random. I know I used to feel the same way, when I saw someone with more than 15 comments, I felt like there was no way they'd even NOTICE if I left a comment. Now I understand, though. :)
I didn't even start following your blog until just recently because I felt over-full and I would just peek in now and again, but eventually decided that I needed to read you regularly!
Sorry 'bout the rough day. I get like that if I get a really low comment count - even though I know it's a little silly. I guess you just gotta be okay with you. (That's so easy to type and yet I have such problems with it...)
After reading everyone else's comments, I think it's just a normal happening. Because I have noticed it, as well. Sometimes it makes me sad, because I think I would prefer to hear from my real life friends more than I would people I don't know IRL, but whatever. If it makes you feel better, just yesterday one of them Facebooked me and said "You get so many comments on each post you probably don't even notice my comments," so I think that's a feeling that a lot of them have. Plus, most of them are not quite as into blogging as I am for whatever reasons. And that's fine. I will continue commenting on theirs, and they can do what they want....and I'll hope they check in and say hey every once in awhile.
PS: I lost a follower once, and it was a real life friend. Turns out she just didn't like that way of reading blogs, and so she stopped following everyone's blog. Don't worry too much.
I have noticed the same thing...at first I thought what did I do and then I remembered why I started my blog...it's for me. If someone likes it GREAT.
I am passing on the Christmas Spirit Award to you.
I can understand your feelings but I agree with your last bit there. Love yourself.
I think your awesome and I don't even know you.
I read your every post! I LOVE your blog and I would love to be a blogtastic blogger like yourself. Do I hear a New Years resolution in that? Humm... I would love to have 40+ comments too! Maybe I'll ask you for some advice on that;) Keep the posts coming and thanks for "keepin' it real, sista." :)
Looks like a lot of girls have already covered what I was going to say. For me, I have 28? followers, but I really only get about 12 or so comments per post. SO I have no idea if some of those followers even follow, or if they are just up there to advertise. I try to visit every place I follow, (And comment) so that does mean for me that I am not really interested in a huge following or my family will be neglected. I guess I really write my blog for me (although I've lately done more for readers as I've gotten them) and so really, it doesn't matter who does or doesn't follow.
But I would totally cry if you stopped coming by!
Hi...47 almost 48 commments once I am done, thats impressive! Erin you are wonderuful, don't ever change! It would definitely be a treat if all of your blogging friends that have never met you got to meet you in person to see that you are definitely a "real" person...what ya see is what you get! That's an amazing thing and very rare in today's world...there's just so much fakeness out there, ya know. Sorry I don't comment as much, I guess I get too lazy, just know that its not you...your super-d- duper, and I really miss being around wonderful neighbors like you!
Erin, I think you're great, and I read every single post you write. I'm not a huge commenter in general, simply because I just don't have time to leave a comment on all the blogs I read. In fact, I usually only comment if: something brilliant comes to mind that no one else has said yet, the person doesn't usually have very many comments and I want them to know that they're loved :) , or they announce something like a birthday, anniversary, pregnancy, etc., and I want to say congratulations. Otherwise I'm just a reader who's grateful to keep up with friends who don't live so close anymore!
well, i saw you had 49 comments, and almost walked away ;)
i love your blog!
i have stopped checking my stat counter for this very reason. also, i only have 9 followers, so this just proves you are a TOTAL ROCK STAR!
I know I was intimidated at first by all your new e-bffs. But you would always comment on my blog so I sucked it up. This last week I've just been consumed by other projects to even check blogs, let alone comment. Sorry. But I am loving your 12 days. I wish I could have played too.
Yes, that's the exact reason I have a love-hate relationship with my blog. I always said I'd use it mostly for updates, but then I want to be somewhat clever so as not to bore my readers. But really, I have like 6 readers as far as I know, so you're doing great in my book! For me, since I blog more to keep pals up-to-date than to really join the blogosphere, it doesn't matter how many comments I get - but I still find myself thinking: does anyone even care that I'm doing this? Maybe I should just stop.
Yeah, it's totally like high shool. I've had that thought too.
I still think you're great! Forgive my lessening comments, I'm just pre-occupied right now.
I totally hear you. Except when followers drop off my blog I try to figure out who they are. :)
You are so likable, that's why you have a growing following.
I finally had to realize that my subscribership (word?) will ebb and flow because there are so many blogs, people just don't have time to keep up with everyone and it's most likely not personal. i hope.
I struggle with thinking about this stuff too though. Blogging really puts us out there, I guess we should be prepared to have our feelings hurt every once and again.
I don't get why anyone would leave your following NOW, this 12 days thing is super fun.
I'm totally behind on blogs these days but I try my best to keep up. Never think I ditched. I just couldn't! (:
Hi Erin, Hi, This was cute to me I like when you open up and are honest and really, we are all this way and insecure so you make us all feel like we are okay.
I do however have the explanation for you, READY..
ONLY NINE DAYS TIL XMAS.. Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so we are all busy folks..
Uggaaaa I had to come back. You even turned comments off on the last post. That is like pure torment to me I always have to say something. SO I came here to do it.. SIGH..
I'm glad you are feeling better and now want to know about the fijet thingy
I've just been too busy to post comments. I read... I skim... I laugh... I don't comment.
I still check out every post you write though. I just need to write a post on my own blog this month. LOL.
56 comments? What are you worried about? But I know what you mean. And my best friends in real life hardly ever leave me comments anymore. What's up with that? JUst because you email me and see me in person, doesn't excuse you from feeding my need for comments is my opinion.
I started out on a message board and went through this. it does take a blow in a way, but I have also had faithful friends that commented, until I started having some commenters come over, now they dn't as much either.. very weird.
I'd love to get 55 comments though, I only get a few LOL
glad you are follwing me and vice versa!
Hey, sorry I missed out on this one. I've been sick and removed myself from the blog world for a few days. Anyway, I think that people that know you in real life don't comment as much because they aren't bloggers and it's not an automatic thing for them to do. That's what I've found. Most of my real life friends and fam comment on my facebook rather than on my blog. Whatever. I don't mind, as long as they're reading it. :)
As you can tell, you are still loved. I refuse to put the blog follower thing on mine just for that reason--I feel like I'm in high school again, and I don't want to worry so much about stuff like that--I feel sort of the same with the amount of friends people have on Facebook. I'm all about not caring anymore about that stuff. Also, I wonder, just a thought here, but do you think you might have lost 2 followers because you quoted the Book of Mormon???
And of course, I didn't think it was bad that you did though:). I loved it!
I have felt the same way. As a new blog friend I have to say that I love your blog. Your funny, real and honest. I've wondered too if maybe I should cut back and not care as much.
Hopefully you will get this comment (I've been out of the blog world for a little while :)
Well I hope I count as a real friend and a blog friend. Ha ha, now I feel like I am in high school. It is so hard to find balance with these things. I love your response to this post today. I love ya
Erin-You're wonderful, and I must confess I don't always comment. Mostly due to the fact that I am usually blogging at 11:00 at night, and it is usually with a sink full of dirty dishes that need to get washed before I go to bed. I love to read your posts, but just don't always have time to comment!
Well, dang, woman, 64 comments and counting!
I think, in sum - we all feel this way. And we're all guilty of it in one way or another, too.
I read you every. single. day. So, that makes you important and all.
Well, I just clued into this because I've been in/out of the bloggy realm this past week. It's been difficult keeping up with it all and I had to prioritize. Like you, I have found that I have less real life friends who comment. I don't know why. It was for that reason that I went outside of my world and made stranger blogging friends because it "fed" my ego. I've enjoyed getting to know so many of you. You're a sweetheart and I'd love to meet you in person sometime. My friend and I started up a blog at the same time and she already has almost 200 followers to my forty something. But I figure we blog for different reasons and because of that, we attract a different crowd. Plus, the more followers you get, the more blogging time it requires. Anywho...glad you are feeling better and making some good friends along the way. Have a wonderful and beautiful day!
I've totally been there... I've got another blog, it's kind of the the alter-ego blog where I whine and complain about stuff (not that that's what you're doing) but, yeah... just know I think you're pretty great!
I have lost some too - it sucks.
Blow to the ego.
I am not going anywhere though ;)
I still love ya, never met ya, but love your blog and the fact you comment on mine. Makes my day. Some people just are busy,maybe a bad day, who knows. But don't let it get you down,k:)
ok, i read often and comment less often. for a million reasons. the biggest reason is i read your blog in chunks and i'm lazy. the second reason is i'm somewhat of a heathen, and i'd your like your readers to think you associate only with people who aren't heathens. HA HA HA.
last, but certainly not least. you get ten times the readers and comments our blog gets. i'll never get over my jealously.
love,
cache valley heathen
or just jealousy. apparently, my heathenistic tendencies have made me a bad typist. i can spell; i just cannot type.
xoxo.
ok, i can neither write nor spell. it's late. i have NO idea what i meant to say with that one sentence there... i'm really sorry. i'm thinking about deleting my comment altogether, but that would take a lot of work. and you'd still get the emails with proof of my poor writing and spelling.
this is a dark day in my life. ;P
Yep, my sentiments exactly. And wow girl, 72 comments?!! And I really don't pay attention to my followers, it was email subscribers I lost. But I've decided I'm going to go back and choose to not know when people unsubscribe.
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