Tiburon of Shark Bait made famous this quote: "You scratch my blog - I scratch yours." (i.e. If you comment on mine, I will comment on yours.)
However, I have also noticed that The Pioneer Woman will write about burned pastures and she gets 273 comments. Obviously, Ree will not be "scratching" all of these people's blogs; she has probably never even commented on any of their blogs. So people must comment for reasons other than just reciprocation.
I used to care about how many comments I received. I also used to comment on everyone's blog every time. I finally realized that I can't do that anymore, no matter how much I like the person. I have a family to attend to. I also noticed that once I stopped commenting on every post every time, the number of comments I get has gone down pretty significantly (again, I'm not complaining, just observing). So clearly, there is a feeling of lack of reciprocation on my part for some people.
I read a comment once on someone else's blog where that person said that she only comments on the people's blogs who have commented on hers that day. While that would be tempting for me (to only comment on 40 blogs versus the 150+ I get in my reader per day), that is not why I comment. That is not how I build friendships (which, if you remember, is why I blog).
I have also noticed that quite a few people say they don't want to comment on someone's blog if they have like 200 comments or something. Like Kristina said, "It's not like I get all 200 comments at once. I read each and every one. And I respond to a lot of them." (I am paraphrasing, even though I used quotation marks. Kristina, don't hate me.) If you don't want to comment because someone has so many comments already, does that mean you automatically comment if you see that someone only has one or two comments?
Another thing I have noticed is that there are a few blogs that I have left at least five comments on, and have not heard anything back from them. (I really hope I don't sound like I'm whining, because that is not my intention. I'm just kind of thinking out loud on the computer screen.) The reason I keep commenting is because I like who these people portray themselves to be on their blog, and I would like to get to know them better. So, if they are not responding to me and/or commenting on my blog, does that mean they don't want to get to know me better? Or am I just annoying them? There are a couple of blogs right now I am giving a mental ultimatum because I have left at least five comments in the past 2-3 weeks, and while they continue to post (meaning I know they are alive and near their computer, rather than out of town or something), I have never heard back from them. Am I just being slow? Should I just delete them from my Google Reader, even if I like what they have to say? Or should I become a silent stalker?
Ugh, I hate it when I sound needy. But I am going to publish this anyway because I want answers.
Why do you comment? Why don't you comment? What are your thoughts on this subject?
P.S. I love comments so I hope it doesn't sound like I am trying to chase you away!
77 people wanted to leave a comment:
I love commenting. BUT I've recently been reading blogs on my phone, so I can't comment. It's so annoying. That's why I've been absent. If I read a blog on my google reader on my phone, I don't go back online. argh.
You paraphrased correctly!
There are a lot of people who used to comment back in the day, that no longer comment on my blog. Which is to be expected I guess.
But I never look at a blog that has a ton of comments and not comment. Because I comment for the person's blog it is. My comment is for them.
And I don't comment on every blog post of every person anymore. I still comment a lot. But I do agree that there is a reciprocation, and because I read so many blogs, if after a while I've noticed I've been commenting on someone's blog many times and not heard anything back, I will probably take them off my Reader, and spend time on the blogs and people that I do have a reciprocal relationship with.
That's not a hard and fast rule. There are people's blogs I will always comment on, even if they never comment on mine. And if I have something to say, I say it!
And I still love comments!
First of all, let me say that I comment on yours because I like it. I admire that you are able to think out loud on your computer and write posts just like this one. I've been feeling the same way about this subject. I just haven't ever voiced it.
I try to comment on all I follow. Although, that's not always the case. Some days are easier than others. If I don't, it's mainly because I'm having a brain fart at the time and can't think of a thing to say. The other times I don't comment are because I think they might want a break from me. I imagine them inwardly groaning when they see another one from me. Like, "oh geez! It's Christa again." I guess that's kind of an insecurity thing. I tend to keep my distance so I don't overwhelm and smother the person.
Thanks for always commenting on mine. Your comments are always genuine.
Oh, I so get this post! I never want to feel obligated to comment for anyone anymore. I think it's so easy to feel like you have to, but that also takes the fun out of it for me! I am trying to wean myself comment addiction. I don't ever want this whole blog thing to take away from my family and I know it does when I am more worried about reading and commenting than I am about playing with them. The people in my life are more important than the people I know (and love) on line. So my new comment policy is comment when I feel like it and don't worry about the rest. Also, I make myself turn my computer off after a post so that I am not checking for comments every 45 min! I just want a healthy balance and I have no desire to build fake relationships only out of a sense of obligation!
I rarely get comments and I really only give them if I really have something to say not just giving a little shout out. I kind of wish people would comment more on mine but I know that lots of people read it because they tell me in real life so oh well. It is just for family anyway. It isn't like I am trying to get MORE readers.
That is really good Erin
Comments are a funny thing about blogging. I am with you on not worrying so much about them. Everybody loves them and everybody has a hard time keeping up with them. It's a tricky blog subject.
I comment when I haven't for a while, sometimes just to let them know that I still love them:). I comment when the post makes me feel like commenting! If it's really interesting or has great pictures or just sparks something in me that makes me feel like I should comment! That's why:)
If I find a new blog that I like I almost always comment just to let them know, hey I found your blog and I like it. After that I comment if I have something good to say, want to support, or just let them know I think it was funny or cute.
There probably have been times where if a person has 200 comments and I feel like I am just saying the same thing the last 200 people said that I won't bother. But usually I don't even read what other people say and just comment what I wanted to say in the first place.
I know when someone comments on my blog I love it, and I definitely read it and then most likely end up going to their blog then and so usually end up commenting to. If I will be able to/want to keep this up if/when I get 200 comments that is yet to be seen.
I love being a silent stalker. There's something wonderful about reading, enjoying, and moving on. Just like a book. But I love comments too. I have been pondering this question lately too.
I think that commenting when you want to is important, but so is courtesy. You don't need to reciprocate every comment but let people who comment often know that you appreciate their thoughts.
Sorry erin. I have never been good at commenting! Sometime I really don't have time to, other times I just have nothing to add, and finally those other times I am just too lazy.
Sorry. I want you to know that I guess I never realized how much my comments affected others. If I have something to add, I'll add it (and think of you)! :)
Rock on Blog Goddess, Rock on!
"The reason I keep commenting is because I like who these people portray themselves to be on their blog, and I would like to get to know them better. So, if they are not responding to me and/or commenting on my blog, does that mean they don't want to get to know me better? Or am I just annoying them?"
erin, that is really how i feel also, i have blogs i love to read every day. i comment on some and never get a response. but i still go back because i love their blog. but i don't think i annoy them.
i don't mind getting few comments.. but i LOVE comments!
just me just messed up!
If I have something to say about what people have posted I comment. If I have time when I am looking at blogs and don't need to attend to my family then I comment. Sometimes I am in a hurry when am on the computer so I don't have the time to comment. I enjoy commenting on peoples blogs and I enjoy reading things people say on mine!! It makes you feel good to get comments and I hope I make people feel good by commenting!!
I think I followed you over from Sharkbait...and I don't remember if I've EVER commented to any of your posts, but I love reading you!
I comment when I really want to be heard...usually I am content blending into the background.
A lot of times I don't comment because I'm sneaking a moment to myself in between changing poops, preparing meals, folding laundry, etc etc etc :) I seem to have just enought time to check for blog updates and then I hear a crashing noise from the other room :)
Hey Woman! I l♥ve you and your blog! I want to build that close friendship with you! Sisterhood is awesome! I try to comment lots and lately with water damage etc it has been hard trying to keep up around here. But please always know I am reading and l♥ve you and your blog! Big Warm ♥ HUGS ♥
I comment because I like too - although I do wait until a blog has multiple posts and then hit them all at once...
I used to feel obligated but I don't anymore! :)
I have every intention of commenting on each blog I read, sometimes I just can't think of anything to say.
I usually comment if I have something to say. I don't comment on every blog, every post all the time but I do believe comments are like a conversation. If someone comments on my blog I am more likely to comment on theirs. Other than that...I wish I had some answers too...I know tons of people read my food blog but I rarely get more than a few comments...is it because it is food? Give me an answer on that!
You aren't needy, just being blogisophical. Have a great day Erin!
I comment if I have something to say, sometimes I don't have anything to add but I still enjoy reading the blogs. Sometimes I don't comment because the person that commented right before me already said what I would say so I don't have anything to add. I guess I could just say "dito" but that doesn't sound very genuine so I just don't say anything. Hmmm, you have me scratching my head now.
I comment if they've asked a question (like you today!) or if I have some kind of input. Other times I comment to say thanks for making me think... Basically, if they've made an impact on me or if I might be able to make a small impact on them. That's when I comment.
I don't comment if the post wasn't particularly relevant to me. Because then it's just commenting to comment. I think comments are like a conversation. In real life, I wouldn't say something like, "What you just said doesn't apply to me, but thanks for saying it anyway." (Obviously, I wouldn't be that blunt on a blog, but you know what I mean.) But if I have nothing to add to the conversation, I just wait for the next post.
This whole blogging thing is very paranoia-inducing. Not that I am saying you are paranoid. I am. Or have been. I have had all of these same thoughts and questions at one time or another. Lately I have been having panic attacks just even thinking about getting through my blogroll in a day. It has taken a lot of the fun out of it. Knowing that not visiting everyone's blog means that a lot of people won't be visiting mine just stinks! I'm a writer and I like to think, in my egotistical and narcissistic way, that people will want to read me whether I read them or not. It just ain't so (at least not in every case). There are blogs I will read no matter what (though I stopped reading Ree--she doesn't even know I'm alive! What's up with that?) (JK--I stopped b/c I got bored)but for the most part, it comes down to the relationships. I started blogging to promote my book and to get my writing out there---but it is the people behind the blogs that ended up being important to me. Yet, I don't have as much time for friends as I do for the possiblity of a money making career in my job of choice. It is making me feel a bit insane. Sorry that it's getting to you a bit, too. :(
I love that you put your thoughts out there. At first I commented because I wanted people to visit my blog. Now I comment when I love someones blog or something they say. I do feel a little offended when I constantly visit peoples blog and they comment on mine at all. Don't know what to do about that.
I too can attest that commenting brings in traffic. I was surprised when I was on vacation a few weeks back and saw that even though I was posting nearly every day, fewer and fewer people were coming to visit. Now this is people actually coming and looking at your page, not commenting— but the concept is very similar.
My commenting habits have changed over time, but overall I tend to comment on a post that moves me to comment. This can be to tell the person what I like about their post— or even giving my advice and support to those in need.
If I haven't commented that often… it is not because I do not like you, or if your post is bad— but more likely I haven't the time lately.
There are some blogs that I comment on and they have never commented back. I do not want to abandon them because of it. I just hope that they come visit from time to time— even if they don't comment.
I feel the same. I comment because I like the person.
I like to go through my blog-list first - these are people who's blogs that I must read cuz they always have something great to say, and I feel that I have developed something of a relationship (i.e. reciprcated comments and replies to my comments) I comment if I have something to say about what was written. If not, I don't. Then I check the google reader. Same thing, if the story leaves me with comething to say, I will say it. That's all.
Funny thing is, I was thinking along these lines yesterday, about comments. I find that if I read all the comments first, that I am left with nothing to say. So I now write my comment first, say what I have to say the way I say it, and then I might go back and read the other comments before I post it. If I had an original thought, or said something in a different light, I will post it. Sounds time counsuming and troublesome maybe, but that's how it's evolved and it really only takes a sec.
And I love getting comments. Who doesn't? I think the feedback, knowing there are other people out there who think and feel the way I do, makes me feel less crazy!
So that's what's been rattling around in MY head about comments... you asked!
:~D
I'm like you---I used to comment on everyone's blog all the time, and especially whenever they wrote on mine. Now, I try to be consistent with the blogs I comment on---but don't feel like I need to comment EVERY time. Especially if it's something about child-rearing that doesn't apply to me:)
I'm typically a silent blog stalker. I usually only comment when I feel I have something to contribute, but you can be sure that I read your blog daily!
Okay, so here again is how I feel about commenting: If I read a post that has like 200 comments, I don't always comment (I mean, would I even be seen on that list of commenters?), unless I really have something to say. There are a number of blogs that I have commented on numerous times and have never had a comment in return, I usually just read them less frequently and comment only when I feel like I have something to add. I don't deleat them form Reader because I have been deleted and had my feelings hurt; I don't want to do that to someone else. There was one blog I used to comment on all of the time, and I NEVER received a comment back. I figured she must have too many readers or be too busy.
I love comments, but l also live in the real world. I can't play the back-scratching game all of the time. I simply don't have the time. And I'm sure everyone else feels the same.
I comment when I have time or when I feel I have the time. It would be fun to comment on everybody's blogs but like you said I have a family. I can't do it all. I just hope I don't lose readers in July when I move. UGH! I hate moving. Well I will continue to blog as long as I am able. It's a great friendship maker!
The whole blogging thing is a weird social experiment, isn't it? I've got a few blogs I'm following right now that, like you, I haven't heard back from and might drop. But then I worry about some comments I get--and think, wait--when was the last time I visited THEM? And yes, as life gets hectic, I comment less frequently.
You expressed it all very well.
I found that I was stressing so much about comment giving that I stopped just enjoying blogging. now I comment back when I can and if I can't I don't stress. and I don't take it to heart when I don't receive as many comments. as long as I'm sharing what I need to share so that I get some sort of release and enjoy from other people's blogs what I need to enjoy then I'm good.
I have a theory that people will get tired of blogs and commenting, kind of like most of us have gotten tired of email and emailing -- NOT that blogs will die out, but just that the fervor will die down.
I think I've said before (on my blog) that my commenting policy pretty much comes down to: I will always leave a comment, unless I am holding a bowl of cereal or a baby (which means I will comment about 30% of the time.) Once in a while I really just don't have anything at all to say -- for example if it is a cold day in the nether realms.
A lot of my posts are not really conversation-starters, so, while I still like to tell the funny story about my kid (which is 85%-90% of my blog content, by a precise scientific measurement,) I don't really expect every person who stops by to say "Funny story!" (Not that I wouldn't like that -- just that I don't expect it,) but sometimes, if I've posted, for example, a really bad pun (not that I would EVER do that!) and I'm feeling insecure about it (not that I would EVER feel insecure about a bad pun!) then if anyone happens to comment, it's comforting and reassuring.
After much cajoling from me and others, my sister recently started a blog, and she's expressed a little disappointment that she envisioned having a blog to be a more social experience than it turns out to be. The thing is, I think there's not necessarily usualy much overlap between one's existing group of friends and the kind of people who like to spend time commenting on people's blogs. It can make one feel like one's friends aren't really one's friends, unless one is able to step back and look at the big picture, which might cause one to see the (not entirely pleasant) reality that some people have lives, and that some of those people's lives don't revolve around having conversations online. (I didn't say that I can understand being that kind of person, just that I'm led to believe that such persons exist, in the "real world.") I don't think my sister really comments a lot on others' blogs, and I do think she realizes that her hope that blogging would somehow be social was kind of a flawed concept, but I also see what she means -- and, while I still ostensibly keep my blog for the sake of family and old friends, I'm in fact often more motivated by comments from new friends who are comment-leaving types.
I'm sorry this comment has to end already when I was just getting going, but all those references to "real life" kind of got me thinking about some things I should maybe be doing in my so-called one.
Oh, P.S. -- I do think that with the school year ending and summer beginning, a lot of mommy-bloggers aren't getting the same amounts of computer time, and that one shouldn't take dying-down blog traffic very personally. I know I'm starting to get a pretty big backlog in Reader, and it's probably just going to be that way for a while.
I used to comment more than I do now, but generally speaking, I don't comment unless I feel like I have something to add to the conversation. I also found that a lot of times I would get ready to comment and then read previous comments that were almost word-for-word what I was going to say. When that happens I usually won't comment, but i like how a couple of people have commented here about publishing their own comments first and then going back and reading the others.
And I don't think you sound like you're whining OR trying to chase people away. You're just being honest!
The story of a non-commenter:
Lots of times I have something to say, but commenting is just too much work for me. Then a few days later you will comment on my blog and I'll think, "shoot, she beat me to the punch, I should have commented on her blog when I was thinking about it." So then sometime in the next week I will make sure and comment so that you know I am reading and that I care. But I also make sure and wait a little while so you don't think I am commenting just because you did.
The moral: Sorry, there is none, that's too much work.
Is it just me or do comments feel a little like high school all over again?
While I love comments and get really excited to read them, I don't comment on every post every time. I like to comment when I have something meaningful to say. I try to refrain from the "LOL!" type comments. I still read blogs that don't comment back because sometimes I know they are a big blog and can't possibly reciprocate all 200 daily comments. So basically, I have no hard and fast rules.
Good post. I just might be one of your friends in your mental ultimatum. Ha! I also think the comment you read came from my post a few weeks ago on this topic. Am I right??
I've gone through different phases with the commenting thing. I used to comment on everyones no matter what, but then it was taking a lot of time, and I decided not to comment unless I really had something to say. Although sometimes I just leave a little comment if I haven't commented in awhile on someone who comments on mine a lot. I'm not a fan of feeling obligated though.
I'm SURE that I've lost about 6 or 7 "followers" over my lack of commenting on their blogs. I'm totally fine with this. Meeting new friends is a nice benefit of blogging, but I mostly blog because I LOVE writing. There are quite a lot of people on my "follower" list that I only read maybe once a month. And I'm sure there are some I've never commented on. I have no idea why they still read me, or even if they still do, but I'm happy to have them. :)
Comments are validating, we all know that. And I too love them, who doesn't? The trick is not letting your blogger self-eteem rest on them...
I don't think I comment on any single blog, every single post. At first I commented a lot more, but since I started blogging for the most part while feeding the baby, I don't do it as much. Typing with one hand is hard.
However, when I have something to say, I always say it.
This whole blogging thing is such a journey - so many things to figure out.
My feeling is, if I read it, I comment on it. If I get behind and read several posts on one blog in one sitting, I'll sometimes just comment on one of them. I only read the blogs of people I consider friends, or who I feel I learn enough about from their writing that if I met them in person for the first time I'd feel like I know them.
That said, if a regular reader stops commenting for a long stretch, I feel awkward continuing to visit and comment on their blog. Like maybe they were sending me a message that I'm not "their type" and I just didn't get it or something. I'm really neurotic like that. Most of the time, it's just people getting busy, but sometimes I take it personally and adopt that you scratch mine, I scratch yours philosophy. I try to be flexible with that though, because really, that's not what it's about.
I stop being best friends with my best friend if she doesn't answer her phone for a few days, you know?
I think I might be a little selfish about commenting. I, of course, love to get comments, but I find myself commenting a little less and less as time goes on. Not because I have less interest... I just feel like I have less time. I feel like I need to blog because it's my journaling, and some days that's all I have time for. Some days I do have time to read several blogs, but not to say much. When I have a quiet block of time, I love to scroll through reader and comment back at anything where I want to continue the conversation on their post.
I feel guilty though because by reading your post I realized that I do have some readers who are so great and faithful, but I probably don't do as much reciprocating as I should. It's probably time to clean up Reader again and realign my reading habits with my "friendships."
Great, now I'm more confused about how to best used my limited blogging time. :) Sigh.
p.s. This totally explains why Shark Bait is kicking my trash in the MMB poll. :)
I comment when I feel like it, when I have time, and when the subject matter interests me enough to formulate a thought. I used to make sure I went back and made sure each commenter was officially welcomed to my blog and add them to my reader, and follow them, etc. But I got tired of feeling like blogging was nothing more than marketing my family out to strangers. I know my blog is not going to become a book someday, its not going to make a great screenplay, I'm not actually trying to accomplish anything specific through blogging other than perhaps making a few friendly connections. My comments are down into the single digits lately. Part of my is screaming, you must put more effort into this! You must begin making more comments and following more people! You must get more followers because clearly none of your current followers care anymore. The sane part of me is shouting at the crazy part "WHO CARES!"...right now, especially because I have more real-life stuff on my plate than I can handle, I'm listening to my sane side. But I imagine if I get bored again, or suddenly find myself friendless or obligationless I'll get back to blogging. I guess I like blogging because you get to chose how important it is to you, and right now, for me, its not that important. Maybe its time to consider how important the blog is in your life?
I comment when I feel I have something to say or when someone asks a question and I feel like responding. One reason I sometimes "forget" to comment is that I read a lot in my Google reader and sometimes I forget to open them in a new window so I can. Other times I just don't have enough time/brain power to think of something to say.
By the way, thanks for your comments on my blog. I don't get a lot, and it's nice to know at least one person is conscious and reading.
I comment because that's how I feel connected to that person. I love to read comments others have posted about what I have written.
I comment if
1.I like the post enough
2. They comment alot on mine (whether i enjoy their blog or not)
3. just to be supportive
4. because they don't have any/enough comments.
Not an exact formula. I do somewhat adhere to Tiburon's comment philosophy.
I love your blog and thoughts. I wish I knew the answer but don't worry. You are not chasing anyone away:)
I love to comment and throw in my two cents whenever I can. Some days I get to a lot of blogs I enjoy and others come another day.
Usually if I've missed some for a bit I like to read through the last couple posts.
Lately with work and a vacation I've been real behind. Were human right :)
I wish I could just be paid to read the blogs I love everyday. No real life work. Ugh.
:)
I usually comment if I feel I have something that will add to the post. Sometimes I don't feel I have much to add so I just read and take it in, part of why if there are many comments I don't feel there is much to add to the conversation that hasn't already been said.
All my friends live in my computer. I meet new gals all the time through blogs, but I don't have time to comment on each and every post. I would never get anything done if I did.
I admit that my commenting usually has everything to do with how much time I have that morning to devote to Google Reader. I comment to support the blogger, even if I don't get their support on return. We're all busy folks, so I get it.
Sometimes I don't comment simply because I have nothing to say or add to the conversation, and I think that's good, too. I don't want to look like an idiot for saying something insincere just for the sake of commenting.
Yeah, I've been thinking about this too. There are two blogs I've commented on several times because I think, "Huh. I'd like to virtually hang out with them." But I've never heard back. Obviously, they don't like my blog. But I still read them because I like theirs. I just don't comment anymore. In MOST cases, though, if someone isn't reciprocating, I quite coming around. The blog has to be REALLY REALLY good for me to come back just for the writing.
Oh my...comments. It seems like you just can't live with them and you can't live without them. They are just funny like that. I try to be a regular commenter with my friends and other blogs I enjoy reading. Other times I comment when I have time to...sometimes there's only time to skim through my google reader, though, and then move on to the next thing. I guess life is just like that.
Are you sure we don't share a brain?? I went through this same thing at the beginning of the year when I did a post about the blog etiquette that I never knew existed. In the beginning I was so obsessed with how many blog hits I got that I was posting everyday just to see how many people would post comments...but that didn't last long. Now, I did have things that I wanted to say, but I couldn't wait to see the comments people would post.
I understand you dilemma. I had the same one with a blog that I found hilarious, and I thought I had a lot in common with this girl. BUT, she only commented once, and after I commented for a month & didn't get any nuances that she was interested in what I had to say, I finally stopped reading.
Many times I reply to different people's comments in an email directly to them b/c I am away from my computer so much & I have email on my phone...and many times I wonder if people think I'm stalking them...but I have made some awesome friendships through blogging.
Keep blogging, and try not to worry about if you offend others. I am too busy to comment on every post from all my buddies...so I always try to catch up on at least one before I post ;o)
I heart you!
I only comment if I feel inspired to say something.
I never ever leave comments that are just fluff... if I think someone wrote something amazing, I'll tell them. If I feel like answering a question that someone asked, I'll answer it. But I won't comment just because I'm trying to get someone else to come back and comment for me. I don't know. I think maybe sorta that makes all this blogging seem too much like middle school. If I got something to say, I'll say it. If I don't, I won't. But if I don't, that doesn't mean I'm not reading, or that I didn't like what you wrote. (you, being all the blogs I read in general, not just you specifically, erin. :)) Maybe it means I think you said everything so perfectly I don't need to add anything at all.
I actually think I could maybe get up on my soapbox about it, cause I don't think commenting should be a game. I mean, I have a really busy life. I don't have time to play!
i'm too busy laughing at "the boob nazi" moniker.
since i've not had time to leave comments (i've still been reading many blogs, just lurking and not participating), the readership on my blog has completely flatlined.
sad in a way.
in the readers' defense, i haven't blogged much. maybe if i wrote more they'd come back?
i only comment if i have something to say. otherwise, i just read. i don't have to have an opinion on every single blog post i read.
You always have a butt-load of comments! (Yes. I am jealous. So?)
I used to spend hours reading a ridiculous amount of blogs, and commenting on them all. Then I realized that I was missing out on the most important relationships I could ever have-- my 4 children and husband. I ignored them for the people that were living inside my computer.
So, I rarely comment now. I read and then move on. It sort of sucks, because I have noticed that my traffic and comments on my blog are pretty non-existent now. And while that bugs me and makes me slightly sad, and my crazylady rants at me about it-- I have realized that the amount of comments i have on any given post are not what makes me important to my family.
(whew. that was a long run-on sentence!)
I comment now if the post provokes a laugh or a deep thought. And if I get 5 comments or 55 its all just gravy.
The relationships everyone is commenting about comes from emailing one another-- and talking about "real" stuff, and not the generic "l♥ved this post!lol" type of commenting. I think commenting to garner comments, and feed the ego are not the kind of relationships I want to have.
Make sense??
I used to try and comment on all the posts but, like you and others have found it hard to do.
I've even found it hard to find the time to read all the blogs. So I've just started reading a bit here and a bit there. I'll comment if I think I have something clever to say or something to actually offer that post but lately it's been read and move on.
In fact it's getting late and I should be in bed but I saw you had a post and wanted to read it.
I haven't had any new posts because of all the stuff going on here at my house. I haven't had time. Hopefully things will settle down in a week or two and I'll have more time. HA! :)
P.S. I love your comments.
I only comment when I have something to say that someone hasn't.
Then again... I haven't posted in over a month.
P.S. I got your email. I'll email you back hopefully tomorrow. It is on the other computer.
Great post, comments are a funny thing. I love giving and receiving them. I don't think I have to comment on every post a person does, but it is nice to let them know you enjoy their blog.
You are a great commenter or is it commentator?
Lot's of thoughts on this one...
I comment when I feel compelled to do so. If I am a new follower to a blog I will usually leave a comment. And I only feel compelled to comment back if it is someone who is a first time commenter or visitor or new follower who has commented. Just my thoughts.
I have realized over the past two months that I can't read them all. I can't read all of the blogs on my blogroll, follower list, and commentors. So I have tried to start with my comments section and then read the ones that I always have. It makes building new relationships difficult. Sometimes I look at my comments from last year and realize that there are blogs that I have lost touch with.
You are right - my comments go up and down with the number of comments that I have made. It would be nice to be a pro like Pioneer Woman and just write to be read, but then I think of the relationships that she must be missing out on. Having Blogbuds is half the fun of blogging!!
Great post!
Got busy reading and commented on the wrong one...
Wow, lots of comments! If I read a blog, I usually comment! I don't follow very many because I don't want to bog myself down feeling like I have to sit at the computer forever. I enjoy blogging but have many other things to keep me busy:) Have a blessed day!
Have you been reading my thoughts again! I don't know how you get in there without me knowing! You sneaky little rabbit.
I feel very much the way you do. I comment to build friendships. I have a 'rule' of sorts when it comes to commenting. There are people that I will ALWAYS comment on (It's a loyalty thing). As for the rest, there typically needs to be some sort of reciprocation. Otherwise, I just lurk. Because..like you I don't have the time.
I'm with Motherboard. You know how I feel about this subject. If not, call me and we'll talk.
I comment when I feel like I really have something good to say...or when I really relate! A lot of the times I feel like everyone else has already said what I would of, so I don't bother.
I comment when I feel like I really have something good to say...or when I really relate! A lot of the times I feel like everyone else has already said what I would of, so I don't bother.
Well fine, since you begged for it... ;)
I love hearing your thoughts on things like this. You have an interesting way of verbalizing so many things I've thought in my head.
I seem to go through streaks where I comment a lot on other blogs and times when I'm just too busy and I blog skim quickly through my reader. I *wish* I had more time to comment on all of the blogs I really enjoy reading.
It's an interesting subject though. I have also done the "mental ultimatum" thing. I have a few blogs that I comment on all the time. I even chat with these people a little bit on twitter and I know they read my blog too- but NEVER comment. It totally turns me off and I want to stop commenting on theirs! It's just weird. I don't know if it's a pride thing for them (some popular food bloggers who used to be much bigger than us but I know we've passed up in numbers now) or what, but it's weird.
We also get comments some times that I know are just there because people want others to see their blogs. They'll just say something dumb like "hi" and then link so to some giveaway they're having. I hate that. If they aren't genuinely interested in what I said, I'd rather not have the comment.
When it comes down to it, I am much more motivated to comment on people's blogs when they comment often on mine as well. I've formed lots of friendships that way and that's why *I* tend to leave comments too. So if I make an effort and participate in someone's blog and they don't reciprocate, I usually keep reading but skip the comments.
I'm totally rambling. I kind of just forgot I was leaving a comment, lol.
Well, you just solved the problem: How do you get a ton of comments? Write a post about comments!!
I have never commented on every post as I think it's silly to try and come up with something to say if nothing comes naturally. This almost never means the post was boring or anything like that.
I just think blogging should be practical and people should be real about it. I'm not saying I don't care about comments and stuff, but I really just don't get hurt by not getting any. I don't blog for comments, but I love getting them.
I HATE getting a new reader that I can't reciprocate. Especially lately, I just DON"T read new blogs. It's so sad, because I know there are some great ones. There are a few bloggers I know from comment trails and stuff that I'd LOVE to get to know, but I'll go crazy if I do more than I do now, which is much less than you and many others do.
Also, since I've been blogging much less my traffic is lower than it was when only my friends and family were reading (!!) but I still get at least as many comments. I love that the friends I've made still come around, even when I'm being a lame blogger friend.
I love blogging and I love that I'm not so obsessed anymore. (I seriously used to look at my sitemeter multiple times a day and now I sometimes remember to check it once a week or so!)
I just reread my (ten mile) comment and realized there are numerous problems in there and things that sound like contradiction etc. Um, sorry.
I don't comment a lot on blogs when I don't know the people really well. I should do it more.
I read my posts in a feed reader and rarely click over to post a comment. Also, I subscribe to a lot of blogs and often just want to get through them for the sake of time and not totally ignore my kids. :)
That said, I miss the community feeling that blogging gave me a couple years ago with all the commenting and new friendships. I should comment more to get that lovin' feeling back.
This is the most refreshing post I've read in a long time Erin. I think you've nailed what most of us are thinking, but just not sure how we should feel about it. As you know, I'm trying to spend less time online and it has dramatically altered the number of comments I can make and how often I get to people's blogs. My true blog friends have hung on (and you are truly one of those and I so appreciate it) I am also considering
just deleting some off my reader because I never hear a word back...it's hard...there just isn't time...
So many people's comments are EXACTLY how I am feeling lately.
I also think that it's easy to get in a slump for awhile and not even want to look at a single blog!
I love your post subject and you stated so many things so well.
Thanks for sharing what so many of us were thinking.
If I am a sporadic commenter, I'm sorry. I haven't been as into blogging this year and I don't check blogs every day (or multiple times a day for that matter) like I used to. I still read your blog though! And I always appreciate getting your comments too. And I am one of those that gets intimidated by mass amounts of comments and think that the person probably doesn't have time to go through each one. And I don't want to read each one and make sure I'm not repeating something someone else has already said. Anyway, I hope I'm not on your ultimatum list!
well you definitely got a lot of comments on this one! ha ha.. I guess I don't have much to say about this.. But I love what you write.. I suck at blogging lately so I never even check them. But yours is one I always want to comment on... if that counts for anything..? lol. love ya!
Some days you are so funny. But I also understand. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in reading and commenting, you forget to do your on bloggy thing, well at least I do.
Keep on a bloggin' sista!!
Okay, I'm late to the game here . . . but MommyJ and I have had a dialogue going on about this very subject for quite a while now. I'm with her, and with Motherboard.
I write for personal enrichment. It forces me to use my brain, and even if there is only one person out there besides my blood relatives who reads a word I've written, I want my writing to be as clean and polished as possible for them -- and for myself. Because I have found that it is a singular pleasure to go back to old posts and reminisce about what my kids were doing. I am grateful that even though I can't remember what was happening in my life six months ago (precisely) I have recorded something of the thoughts and events I was experiencing then.
I also read for personal enrichment. Sometimes I comment, sometimes I don't. But I never (can I say it louder? NEVER) comment just because I want someone else to comment on my blog. I would call that insincere. I would call that fake. I would call that, as MommyJ said, a bit too much like middle school for comfort.
I comment when I feel moved to comment; when I have some valid question or answer for someone else's question; when I feel inspired by someone's post. But I don't not comment because I disliked something. Sometimes it's just the opposite, and I feel like anything I could say would seem trite next to the extremely wonderful post I've been reading.
So. I write for me. I read for me. Sometimes I comment. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I get comments. Sometimes I don't. But either way, I'll still be writing. And either way, I will have many happy days of reminiscing and remembering in the future because I had the wherewithal to write down some stuff about my life.
And that's my commenting policy. I should copy this and put it on my sidebar. In fact, I think I might do just that.
I go in cycles with my blogging balance. I think I finally know how *I* feel about comments and that is this: I will comment when I have something to say. I personally don't like getting comments on my blog that just say "Cute!" or "Funny!" so I don't want to do that to others. I have even gotten comments where it is obvious that the commenter did not read more than a couple sentences of my post (or none at all in some cases). In those instances I feel like they are only commenting to receive comments on their own blogs, and that doesn't feel good to me. Lately I have commented way less because life is crazy, yet I am always reading.
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