I was eating lunch with my friend, and she was telling me about when she was doing therapy with children. She talked about "child directed play," and how she was letting the child drive a little racecar around the floor and she was following him with her own car. She would make comments like, "Vroom vroom! Your car is so fast." Then she mentioned that children don't communicate like we do, and that play is their language.
I'm sure I have heard this before, and even knew it intuitively, but at that moment it really clicked and made sense. Up until that moment, I played games with Aidan because I wanted to be a good mom and that's what good moms do. But after she mentioned this, I started thinking.
We all want to be loved. Every one of us. And we prefer to be loved in our "love language." Even children. And since play is their love language, when we get on the floor and play with them, and follow their lead, and don't let our minds wander about the laundry waiting in the washing machine, or the phone call we forgot to make earlier, they feel loved.
The very next day, I took Aidan to the park. And we played follow the leader, and I went down slides and climbed around on the monkey bars right along with him. And he knew that I loved him. I got more kisses and hugs and snuggles that day than usual.
I loved every minute of it.
38 people wanted to leave a comment:
You are such a good example. Yesterday we went to the park and I sat on the bench while they played. Next time we go (when it's not raining!) I'm going to be right there on the slide, too. (thanks for the reminder about what's important)
Thanks Erin. I have been struggling with Keira and I needed to hear that. We do love our kids so much but it is hard to express to them in the way they understand. I will be working on this.
I'm not good with child-directed play in therapy. It feels like we're doing NOTHING effective. But since I won't be working with children, I won't worry about it.
I'm a pretty affectionate mommy, and I thought that was enough. Thanks for the reminder that we actually have to speak their language, not just assume they're understanding what we're saying.
Okay, you just made me cry. This was a big time reminder for me. I don't play nearly enough with my kids. Sometimes, I expect them to be more mature then they really are and I forget that they are still just kids.
Such a great lesson! Thank you for sharing that with us! It all makes so much sense!
Great insight! I am definitely learning the truth of this with my granddaughter. Wish I had known this when my boys were children
I took my 2 year old to the park yesterday too. I followed her around and we slid down slides together and I pushed her in the swings. We had a GOOD time.
I LOVE the fact that you posted this. Sometimes as we all need a reminder about sharing the love with our kids.:)
This is something that is incredibly hard for me as a mother. Definitely not my strong point. I always make myself feel better because Joel is good at it and I am a good mother in other ways, but I do need to work on it. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing. This is something that I really need to work on.
My whole major in college was based around this truth. It is a nice reminder. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Hmmmmmm. I never thought about this. So when my boyfriend's daughter wants to play, it's about more than just her being bored.
What a great mother you are! It is very important that we as mothers remember this. Like Lara said, I too always struggled with this. But when I really did take the time to "play" with my kids whether it be barbies or games or just tossing a football around.. I actually noticed a big difference in them... they did feel my love. Thanks for sharing.
I needed to hear that today. Thanks for sharing! And CONGRATULATIONS!!! I've been kind of absent from the blogging world lately, but I'm glad I came back to visit you today! Here's hoping that you can relax at that 12 week appointment! Feel better
You are so right! Thank you for this reminder. Even just a hour of truly playing with the kids can change the entire day.
Maybe that will prevent kids from throwing BBQ sauce and soda cups at me. I will try this next time.
I love this post!! I danced with my daughter yesterday to the Black eyed peas (she is 4) and we had the best time. I forget too often to play with the younger ones as I try to reason with the teenage ones. Great reminder:)
I never thought of it that way... really opens my eyes. It's so sweet. :)
Ahhh.... that was the best.
How do you get your brain to stop thinking about laundry?
Thanks for this great reminder, Erin. I love to get down and play like that during family gatherings, etc but forget to do much of that day-to-day. But our little ones need to know we love them EVERY day!
:~D
Ah, I so needed this reminder today.
Oh Erin this was such a good post, I need this reminder. Like you I think it is something I intuitivly know but that I forget. You are a good example to me. Thank you.
Thanks Erin. I really needed this.
Awesome! I love that! It is so true. It is totally their love language. The older my kids get, the more I'm learning what I need to do NOW.
This was a great reminder. My kids are kind of old for the follow-the-leader and matchbox cars stuff, but when they want to stick the ear buds in my ear to hear a favorite band or to talk about a book they are reading I can take time to love them that way. Thanks!
Thanks for reminding me. It's so hard sometimes!
Congrats on the pregnancy, too!
Such a sweet post, thank you.
I also have noticed a difference in my boys when I've spent good play time with them. I must admit, I kind of hate playing kid games, but it sure is worth the rewards of them knowing I care, and I need to do it more.
Lately I've been watching and learning about how everyone has their own way of feeling loved (and giving love). The trick is to try to figure out how to give love to our husband and kids in the way they need it, even if it isn't in the same way we need it...which you probably just said in your post, using more concise language, but there are my ramblings on the subject.
Anyway - thanks, Erin!
Love this! Thanks for the reminder. Haven't blogged for awhile again and missed you were expecting...CONGRATS!!! I'm so happy for you :)
Love this!
SO true. I really needed to be reminded of this today.
It's so true, isn't it? And it really isn't that hard, or time consuming, really.
You are so Deep!
It's nice to get sweet reminders of things we have control over. Like that we can play with our kids and make time to do somethign they want to do. I struggle with that. Actually playing the way they want to. (I want to do crafts, or color or things--they want to play pretend and such.)
Great post!
Great reminder. It's so important, no, vital, to let our children know they are loved. Every. Single. Day.
I so needed to read this today. Lovely post!!
Wonderful post! I really needed to read this! THanks!
Congrats on your pregnancy, we wish you the best always! with Love,
great post Erin.. take care, hugs and thanks for being such a great example to us all!
You're a rockin' fab mom!!!!!!! I love this! I guess I'll get off blogging and go play with my Lil' Bear :)
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