A few days ago, I burned my finger on a frying pan. That reminded me of my (very few) cooking experiences growing up...
I was never interested in learning how to cook. I was bored. It took too much time. It took too much energy. I didn't want to wash dishes afterward. I didn't think about the fact that I would actually have to learn how to cook when I got married/had a family. I have precisely two memories of doing anything food related before getting married (besides learning how to make grilled cheese sandwiches at my grandma's house).
Memory #1
My favorite meal of all time, the one I would ask for every single year on my birthday, was beef stroganoff. It is my grandma's recipe, and it is heavenly (and really easy!). It is served over rice, and one time when I was a teenager, my mom asked me to make the rice. Of course, I didn't know how to make rice so I had to read the recipe (anyone who can read can cook, right?). The recipe called for two cups of rice, four cups of water and one teaspoon of salt. Piece of cake. Only, somehow I read the "one teaspoon" as "one cup." I remember scooping the cup of salt out of the #10 can, and my mom saying something like, "That is an awful lot of salt." I shrugged her off, thinking, "I read the recipe." (And she, bless her heart, didn't say anything else. She wanted me to learn, I guess.)
As we scooped the rice and stroganoff onto our plates, I took a giant bite. My first thought was, "What in the world did Mom/Dad do to the stroganoff? It tastes horrible!" (Of course, I didn't do anything wrong to the rice.) Then they explained that I had somehow misread the recipe, and I'm sure they got a great laugh behind my back.
Memory #2
My mom called from work and asked if I would please turn the oven on to 350 and put the meatloaf in the oven.
She neglected to tell me that I had to take the plastic wrap off of it first.
When she got home from work, the meatloaf was a plasticy mess.
We had pizza for dinner that night.
Memory #3
Christian and I had been married for only a few months. I loved those cheap muffin-mix-in-a-bag-just-add-water-and-cook, and I made them often. One time, I mixed the muffin mix with water, and poured it into a big plate and cooked it like that in the oven. When it was finished, I took it out of the oven (with hot pads) and set it on the counter. Three or four minutes later, I was ready to take it over to the table, and since it was on a regular plate, I forgot that it had just come out of the oven. I picked it up with both hands, and burned every single finger down to the second knuckle (so not just the tips) and both of my thumbs. They hurt for weeks.
So, now that I have told you those stories, do you want a recipe for a killer lasagna and breadsticks I made for Valentine's Day?
Seriously though, 12 1/2 years of marriage later, and a lot of learning, goof-ups and trials and errors, and I am a pretty good cook. I still don't particularly enjoy cooking. Last night, Ethan asked me, "Mom, do you like to cook?" And I wanted to be truthful, so I said, "Well, I like to eat, so that's why I cook."
The lasagna and breadsticks really were one of the best meals I have ever made. (And relatively speaking I made them slightly healthier for you than the regular recipes.) So let me know if you are interested in me posting the recipes. It will probably take a while to type, so I don't want to waste my energy if no one is interested. (I'm lazy like that.)
Now, it's your turn - do you have any embarrassing cooking stories you want to share?
41 people wanted to leave a comment:
Yes! I'd LOVE the recipe:). I really should make lasagna sometime. Those are totally funny memories. I can't think of my crazy ones, but I'm sure I totally have some that I've just blocked from my brain.
My friend has THE BEST lasagna recipe. It doesn't use ricotta or cottage cheese, it uses a beschamel sauce, and it's so creamy.
I posted on my blog a long time ago about my deviled egg disaster. I could not boil those stupid eggs properly, to save my life!
I am CONSTANTLY putting things on burners that are still hot or turning the wrong burner on while there is something on it. I've ruined cook books, cutting boards, spices, etc. I'm usually pretty good at burning myself as well - nothing major, just a slipped potholder here and there.
Oh, and right after I had Owen I forgot to put the SUGAR in a sweet and sour sauce I was making. That was gross. I couldn't bring myself to make that recipe again for a year, and it still doesn't get made very regularly.
I definitely want the recipes! I love that stuff.
I admit it: I hate cooking. I like baking treats and breads, but can't stand the dinner-cooking thing of dishes, mess, timing, etc. It's at that time of day when I need a break, and have no desire to work hard. But alas, I try to make dinner most nights.
And when I don't, we're thankful for Papa Murphy's $6 pizzas, and we're thankful for pasta and red sauce.
i made some valentines treats for a boy i liked and these cute little cheesecakes in individual muffin liners were so soggy and nasty... I felt so ashamed!!!
My first thought reading this was what recipe ever calls for two cups of salt? Seriously-what are they cooking?!
I don't really have any embarrassing cooking stories. Although, one time my mom made a cake to take up to Park City, set it on the floor of the car, and I stepped on it. Awesome. My brothers call that kind of cake "foot cake" even to this day.
Ha ha, I especially like that you forgot to take of the plastic wrap before putting it in the oven!
I can't remember any particular cooking disaster with myself, but I do remember one time my mom was making a layered jello or somethng, and had to go run an errand, so she told me sister, to put the stuff in the pan on the stove on top of the stuff in the fridge, and my sister just set the whole pan on top of the jello in the fridge. Pretty funny.
Great stories! I've always loved baking and fell in love with cooking, too when I went to college.
Of course I want the recipes.
I think we all have some stories like this under our belt...
A cup of salt! That is awesome that your mom just let you learn your lesson, too funny.
Can't tell you the number of times I space off adding an ingredient only to find that the recipe didn't turn out as expected. Can't say that I ever added that much salt, but I may have mis-read a line in a recipe and added the wrong amount because the line above or below had that amount in it.
Thanks for sharing,
I can totally relate--I have tons of embarrassing cooking stories and it is a task I would rather not do at all.
I love stroganoff too, but every time we have my husband is the chef. So, I get a good meal and a vacay from cooking!
Sorry about those burns... ouch!
One time, my mom was sick in bed, so I decided I wanted to make some hashbrowns and eggs.
I cut up some potatoes, got some peppers, and put them on the stove.
I had no idea that wasn't how you made hashbrowns.
They were still raw when I tried to eat them. It was disgusting.
I am always open to new recipes! My stories always consist of burning my fingers - apparently it's second nature for me to just reach into the oven and grab with no hot pads! Craig is worried and he should be! My excuse is that my mind is always preoccupied with the next step when I cook.
I think we all have crazy stories like that. I love those they are great. I remember putting a plastic egg with candy in the oven for my husband and then proceeding to turn it on to fix him a nice big Easter breakfast but not remembering that I had hidden a plastic egg in there. Great stories.
I can't bring myself to make lasagna when they have those delicious frozen concoctions already assembled at the grocery store. Less work, and I don't think homemade is really that much cheaper.
hahaha I started wheezing when I read that you cooked the meatloaf with the plastic wrap on it. Thank you.
I was thinking as I read the post, "Funny. As much as she loves food, I thought she liked to cook." And that's just what you said to Ethan.
My biggest mishaps involve forgetting to season things and ending up with really bland casseroles and what not.
I am laughing. Oh my.
I actually love to cook but like you, I had to learn and made some mistakes along the way. I remember making a chocolate pie from scratch once and I accidentally use unsweetened baking chocolate - Oh yeah that was yummy - Blahhhhhhh.
The meatloaf story is great! :D
I think the meatloaf story was totally my favorite. And yes....please post your recipes!
salty stroganoff...MMm NOT!
LOL!
OUCH on the hot plate touch...EEK!
Do I have any embarrassing cooking stories? I'm sure I do. Ahh i remember. When I was a teenager I really wanted to make my grandmother's fave cookie molasses cookies. I mixed up the batter, dropped the cookies on the cookie sheet and placed them in the oven.
8 minutes later I take the cookies OUT of the oven and they are running into each other NOT separate cookies at all. You guessed it, i forgot the flour. I added the flour later and it was just fine.
Jeez.
Thanks for sharing your stories.
I'd love the breadstick recipe!yum!
I'm just glad to know your cooking has improved. The plastic wrapped meatloaf if hilarious! I LIKE to cook but that doesn't mean I haven't screwed up a lot of stuff!
Mine are seriously too numerous to list here. I did a post about it at my blog awhile back. The sad thing for me is that I really want to be a good cook ... I'm just missing the cooking gene. But I'm on a mission this year to give it another try.
Great post ... :)
Oh ... and I don't remember the quote from Friends ... I thought I knew every funny quote they ever did ... I loved that show and I still try to catch the reruns.
Matt still likes to tease me about two of his favorite newlywed dinners: The hamburger patty with a fried egg on top of it served in a refrigerator biscuit, and the omelette I maid with an entire little package of goat cheese in it (that tasted like vomit).
Bring on the recipes.
did I just spell "made" like "maid"? Please accept my sincerest apologies.
HeHE!! Bridger and I still joke about how our first year of marriage we ate at Arby's at least once a week! :) If it wasn't Arby's it was a can of something that just had to be heated up...like chili or spaghettios! Many of times I tried to cook something, and we would both take one bite, throw it away and go find something else to eat...hehe!
Mom's do like to let us learn from our mistakes... but sounds like you have become a wonderful cook. I would love the recipes!!
Yes, please on the recipes!
And... Thursday Night Supper Club menu from last week is going up today. It's completely awesome and you will want to make it, I promise.
yes please! If you don't want to type, just scan it in!
Cookies with no flour...cookies broiled instead of baked...cookies baked to a crisp. Yeah...most of my disasters involve cookies.
I made hummus two nights ago and accidentally doubled the cumin. EWW!
I would love the breadstick recipe. I have been looking for a good one for a while, and still haven't found one that i'm happy with!
Not embarassing, but my mom was concerned that I ruined the funeral potatoes on Sunday (I couldn't find her cream of chicken soup, so I used cream of mushroom.)
and thank you for the idea...must make lasagna soon..
I worked at a Crisis Care Facility as a cook for a year. My first night that i was on to cook all by myself the recipe I was supposed to make was called Puffy Green Bean Egg Bake. Since every meal i had seen there thus far was made in a big glass bowl, I just assumed everything was made it that. Not true. Puffy Green Bean Egg Bake needs to be made in a flat pan. Or you are just going to have green beans floating around in egg! It was so disgusting! And I was so embarrassed!
When I was fifteen my mom asked me to prepare a cake mix from a box. It sounded easy enough, and I had taken home-ec. All I had to add were a few eggs, some oil and a cup of water. I pulled out the measuring cup and filled it to the line with water and poured it into the mixing bowl with the mix. For some reason it was nearly overflowing. How was I supposed to add the eggs and oil if the water and mix alone filled the bowl? My sister realized my mistake. I'd added one quart of water, not one cup. Oops. Nearly twenty years later she still won't let me live it down.
I try to cook as little as possible.
It is just easier that way.
Plus, it gives me something to do - or not do as the case may be.
I don't even try. Luckily, I have a husband whose Grandma taught him how to cook. (And he actually enjoys it!)
And luckily, my Mom is sweet and gives me money for fast food when he's out of town (like this week). :)
We really would starve if he wasn't around... Or eat cereal every meal...
Hahaha, loved the second story!!! Melted meatloaf...sick!!
Um, yeah, unless all these people ahead of me wrote that they Don't want that recipe, then it looks like you will be posting it! Yay! And my worst cooking experience? The first time I tried to make meatloaf I put wayyyy too much tomato sauce/paste in it, and it came out looking pink and raw. Nasty. I didn't make meatloaf ever again (for about 25 years!) until My Daughter recently shared her recipe with Me. We actually had it tonight. It was yummy...
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