Somber Thoughts, Part One

We never know what other people are going through. They could be walking up the aisle at the grocery store, looking like they are intently searching for kidney beans, when inside they are dying. They are lonely. They are hurting. They may be thinking, "Just leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it." They may be thinking, "Someone, please ask me how I am doing and what is going on in my life. I need to talk." They may desperately want to talk, but feel afraid to start the conversation. Or there may be a combination of both feelings (leave me alone - please talk to me!) that leaves them feeling frustrated, knotted up inside, mentally battered and exhausted.

We may have friends who, while chit chatting or talking pleasantries, will seem very proper, polite, happy, and willing to visit, even while they are miserable on the inside. There may or may not be subtle nuances that tell us that something isn't quite right with them. Do we ignore it, or do we gently inquire? Does it depend on how good of a friend they are? If we are the one with the issue or situation, do we choose to say anything, or to lie and pretend that things are okay? What makes some of us willing to talk, and others of us to continue to suffer silently and alone?

And how do we respond if/when someone opens up to us and tells us what is really going on inside of them? Did we ask actually wanting to know the answer? Or were we just asking to be polite?

I have a friend who called me this week, at just exactly the right (or wrong, depending on how you see it) time. She asked exactly the right/wrong question, and she got a near panic attack in her ear in response to her question. I know she was inspired to call me, because I needed that phone call. I just didn't know how to ask for it. She didn't get what she bargained for when she called me, but I'm glad she did anyway. Thank you for the phone call.

(And yes, I'm doing much better now, thank you very much. But it was a very difficult week. And no, I really don't want to talk about it anymore, other than what I have just said.)