Then on Wednesday, a different girl came over here to play. She had on a pretty dress, and was wearing pretty shoes. They went into the bedroom so Ethan could show her his fish tank (Aidan was there too, and I was keeping myself within hearing distance at all times). After a few minutes, the girl yelled, "Aidan is trying to look up my skirt!" I said threateningly, "Aidan!" He said, "No I wasn't. She is standing on the legos and I am trying to find a piece."
I'm not quite sure what to think about my boys playing with girls. I mean, it's a great idea, and I love that they can be friends with them. I also feel like I need to be (and want to be) hypervigilant paying attention to what is going on. I have talked to the boys a thousand times about being respectful and keeping their bodies to themselves, and to make sure that other people keep their bodies to themselves. While it's very cute to watch them play, it's also exhausting because I don't let my guard down at all. (I'm also guarded when they play with boy friends too, and that is a post I will probably be writing in the next week or so.)
My boys are respectful, and they are really great kids. And I'm not the only one who thinks that. I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on this subject (boys and girls playing together, ages 5-7), particularly if you have girls. Would you let them play together? Only at your house? Would you be hypervigilant? Do you think I'm overreacting?
(P.S. Ever since kindergarten started, Aidan has been asking me if a certain cute girl in his class can come over and play. Almost daily. I'll have to call her mother soon and see what she says.)
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Interesting post! I can't wait to see what other people have to say. My 1st grader has never asked to have a friend-girl from school come over, just friend-boys. BUT we have 20 something kids all about the same age on our little street, and it's a good 1/2 & 1/2 mix of girls and boys. They play together all the time. Well, usually. There's one girl last year who started a "girls only club" and got super mean about it, so I'm not a big fan of her anymore, but generally, we're all about boys and girls playing together. :)
My boys have a lot of girls their age and they love to play together. The only thing I don't love is the girls totally play the kissing thing and chase the boys, but my boys love it. It's all pretty harmless and cute, I think! I've never had any problems about respecting or the girls thinking anything weird, and my boys actually love to play house now:). Good luck though! The skirt comment was a little funny but I love Aidan's answer about looking for a lego, because it's so true!
I don't have kids. But I did have a best friend who lived across the street from me, when I was in kindergarten. And we reenacted things we saw on TV, when our parents weren't home.
So I would be hypervigilant.
Funny you should mention this playing with boys/girls thing. i have the opposite problem. I have 3 girls. oldest 11, then 8 then 3.
Neighbors have 3 boys and a girl.
11,9,8 and 7. (Girl is 7)
11 year old has a crush on my daughter. I let them hang outside my house. All they really want to do anyway is talk..I give them some distance but they are constantly surrounded by either me or their siblings.
i think it is ok to let your kids play with the opposite sex just make sure you know the other kids. Take the time to get to know the boys..(in my case) the girls in yours.
I'm in the primary at church so mostly everyone knows me (kids and such) Most of the kids are A-Ok.
Just keep a watch out...
And just you wait for later...11-14...
*sigh*
It gets funner (in my book, that's a word) lol.:D
Happy Friday!
I think it is not a big deal yet, we have a cute girl in the neighborhood that will come over sometimes but they mostly just play outside or jump on the tramp. My boys are still pretty naive so I don't have to be hypervigilent yet, now when they are closer to the teenage years I will be more likely to be hovering.
I'm with Kristina...being hypervigilant isn't a bad thing. I was a huge tom boy, so I mainly only played with boys...but they were my brothers friends, so I was never alone with boys. But, I just wouldn't be able to trust kids that weren't my own. Go with your gut instinct! If there is a particular little girl that makes you feel uncomfortable, there may be a reason.
You know, it's funny, but my girls never really cared too much if they were playing with boys OR girls, but have only had girls around in the neighbirhood to play with. Interestly enough, my littlest got into a weird situation with another GIRL, who was a two years older. I always have my eye out in the back yard - making sure things are safe and such, with Brooke especially because she tends to go along with anything (she is just happy to have someone to play with), and I saw the whole thing go down. So, I guess my point is... I wouldn't be any less vigilant with a same sex playdate. Kids are curious...
It's tricky, because boys and girls just don't play the same together.
T came home after the first week of school, and said he'd made a new friend on the bus named Maddy. They played everyday together for that first week, but she seems kinda like a tom boy and mostly they just rode bikes together. But, when it was time for her to go home one night, and T asked if she could stay for dinner, I asked her to call her Mom to ask if it was ok, and she didn't know her phone#, or her Mom's name...or her last name. Yeah, she's in 1st grade. So, we decided she's too dumb for T.
I finally made T a rule that he has to play with a boy in between every time he plays with a girl.
I think that it is important to be the same with either sex. I tend to allow my girls to play with kids whose parents I know are like me (and by that I mean they don't let their kids out of an ear-shot range) I have had certain instances where Brooklynn was playing with a boy and they ended up in his room...with the door closed. Nothing inappropriate was going on, but I don't let her play there anymore. I don't know, that's a tough one. I guess it's just best to always go with your motherly instincts, they usually know best.
Firstly, I never really had any girl friends. I played with boys. Right up until the day I got married... wait, I guess I still do :) so I think having friends of the opposite sex is important. Boys didn't seem to be as gossiping or back stabbing as girls were. Things were more fun and simpler with them.
BUT with little kids, I think it is important to be hyper vigilant. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It is a delicate balance, I am sure. Heck, letting your kids have any friends is dangerous. You never know what the neighbor is going to teach your innocent child... Sigh, I think I a talking myself into keeping my kids locked up as hermits forever.
So I vote yes to friends of the opposite sex, and yes to watching them like a hawk (but not so they can tell you are).
I think because I have a boy and girl and they have always played together, I don't even think twice about them playing with members of the opposite sex. I don't think being hypervigilant does anyone any favors. It just shows your kids that you don't trust them or the other child. The only rule we have at our house when other kids are over is that the doors stay open. That's it.
Now that my daughter is 11, the time for her having boys over to play is drawing to a close. She is starting to develop, and it's not appropriate anymore.
I think we have to be really careful to not sexualize our children by fearing that those things will happen if we don't watch their every move when they are with the opposite sex. Unless kids have been exposed to that sort of thing through abuse or graphic television, there is no reason for those thoughts to be in their heads. Let them be the innocents they are.
I think it is great! My son's best friend from preschool is a girl. They still do things together. When in Kindergarten they had sleep overs...
Well, Madelyn wants Aidan to come to her birthday party....most of her close friends have been boys up to this point. Mostly because that's who's been close by or whose mom I'm friends with. I think it's OK under most circumstances. They'll think the opposite sex has cooties soon enough.
Emma's best friends are all boys, and she's a very...affectionate girl. Loves to hug and kiss, that sort of thing.
I worry. Oh, how I worry.
But I figure if we teach our kids well, then we only need to be vigilant (and save HYPERvigilance for teenagehood). =P
My son had a friend who was a girl when he was about 5 and apparently she kissed him on the lips a couple of times and he was so not impressed. On the other hand now at nine he has a friend who is a girl and they study rocks and do science experiments and both of them could care less that they are of the opposite sex. I honestly think it just depends on the child.
My little girl is 3 and her favorite friend is a boy because their friendship is so drama free.
Calvin likes girls better because they're nicer in general. He doesn't love the rudeness of the wild boys (it just so happens our neighborhood doesn't have many good boys his age) - although we have finally found a few that are nice from other neighborhoods, so he can finally have boy playdates.
In all honesty, the girl/boy difference hardly ever comes up when my boys are playing with girls, so I hadn't thought much about it, except that I'm glad they like to play with the nice girls and not the naughty neighborhood boys.
Since my boys are such nice ones, I think I'd me MUCH more worried if it was my little girl playing with boys, than my nice boys playing with nice girls.
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